The Borders Are Open
by LM1991
Summary: A collection of ROTG/Discworld crossovers varying in size. Chapter 1: Prologue. Episode 1: Witches of Lancre.
1. Chapter 1

**The Borders Are Open**

**A collection of ROTG/Discworld Crossover short stories**

By LM1991

**A/N: Quite a lot of people have thought about it: wouldn't it be awesome to write an amazing crossover for ROTG/Discworld? I've decided to give it a try. I don't know if it will be amazing, awesome, or even **_**good**_**. All I can do is try my hardest and have fun writing it. **

**Disclaimer: **The Discworld series belongs to Sir Terry Pratchett and Rise of the Guardians belongs to DreamWorks. I am not intending to steal from them, merely borrow the characters and worlds for a bit and play with them. I'll give them back in good condition after I'm done.

All the OC's created are only intended to play very minor roles.

**Prologue  
><strong>**Chapter One: The Opening**

This is the Discworld. Great A'Tuin the Sky-turtle floats through space, carrying four giant elephants on his [or her, because that question still hasn't been answered yet] gigantic, meteor-showered back. These four elephants carry upon their broad, star-tanned shoulders the Disc. A flat plate of land, thousands of miles wide, mostly circular in shape if seen from above. The Discworld has all climates, magic, all kinds of people, trolls, dwarves and mystical creatures that are really not that mystical but very much real on the Disc.

It also has Gods.

The Gods of the Discworld play games with mortal men. They also play with mortal women, children, animals and immortals for that matter. With their own kind or other myths as well, if and when they get the opportunity.

When you're all-powerful and bored you have to amuse yourself somehow, and by mucking about with things not meant for mucking with things will be able to happen that really shouldn't happen, if only for the sanity of some that don't at all deserve to be messed with by Gods that are like small children with a ball and a window that is not yet broken, and should really just go and buy a good book instead.

The Gods, gathered around a playing table the size of a bigger-than-average poker table and with a miniature version on the Disc on top of it [with small figurines of whoever the Gods' favourites, heroes and players were, standing on the exact location where they actually would be if the miniature version of the Disc was real, with startling likeness] wanted a bit of a change to make things more interesting. Not that things weren't interesting on a normal day when they had things like kings, wizards, witches and policemen to play with, but they were Gods and they didn't really need to have a reason to metaphorically go poke an ant-heap with a stick and watch the chaos happen, laughing all the while.

First mentioned was the fact that there were a thousand more Universes to play with, to connect the Discworld to, to wreak havoc on while still being able to play out their favourites.

Then someone said there were a lot of _similar worlds_ to the Disc and this was an even bigger promise of fun-times.

There was a lot of bickering about which world to pick before The Lady [she had green eyes, and if you ever prayed for her help during a game of cards you shouldn't be surprised that you would lose horribly] stepped in with the suggestion that every God would pick their favourite world they would really like to play [mess] with, write this down on a piece of paper, fold these up and throw them in a hat. Then someone who wasn't a God would come to pick one piece of paper, to keep it fair, and that would be the world they would open the Universal borders of the Disc to.

This happened. A rather confused looking gentleman was summoned to stand there looking like he did before someone told him what to do, how to do it, and not to freak out when images would start to dance around in the air above his head when he opened the piece of paper he'd pick.

The man, a rather simple fellow called Thomas Jerry, did what was expected of him, plus a few more confused looks around at all these weird-looking, strangely dressed weirdoes and then screamed a less-than-masculine scream and fainted dead away when after he'd opened the paper sparkles shot up in the air and these made a kind of moving picture in mid-air.

''Ah,'' said Io, leader of the Gods after examining the picture with hundreds of his floating eyes. ''One of the alternatives of Roundworld. Very well.''

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Chapter one, bit of an intro to the short stories I'll be posting shortly. Please tell me what you think about the fic so far. I'm Dutch, so if there's any mistakes, be sure to tell me. I can learn.**

**Be seeing you, except I won't really, because this is the internet,**

**Lisette**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Borders Are Open**

**A/N: New chappie! I had quite a lot of fun writing this. I also had to keep looking up things to make sure it was all done in-character. I really hope I succeeded. Thank you for the story alert, by the way.**

**Chapter Two  
>The Witches of Lancre<br>EPISODE 1 PART 1  
><strong>

Granny Weatherwax had always had a feel for the landscape she saw as hers. The kingdom might belong to King Verence II [who had come to power in a rather interesting sort of events, but he was trying to be a good king, so that was alright], but she considered the rocks, the trees, the animals and even the people hers to protect.

In short, Lancre was hers, thankyouverymuch, and only _she_ was allowed to gently terrorize everything in it.

The feeling that had suddenly popped up out of nowhere from all around her was a feeling of… _openness_.

The last time she'd felt something like that was when a few young gals had taken it into their heads to dance up at the Dancers [Eight red standing stones up on the moor. Think of them as a kind of fence. A very tall one with guards, pointy things every five feet and barbed wire over the top.], wearing down the magnetic field of the stones so it would be easier for elves [NOT the kind that St. North has got messing around in the workshop, but mean ones. Granny had put them in their places a bit back.] to cross into the world.

This was, however, very different. It didn't really feel threatening, or pushy and whining for attention. It just… was there, an option, a potential thing, like you'd have the choice not to go through the open doorway that had suddenly appeared. But, Granny felt, that there was a really real danger of accidentally falling through it, too. She couldn't tell what would happen then, or what was on the other side. This annoyed her.

"I can't be havin' with this," grumbled Granny, detaching her mind from where it had been sort of floating about, looking over Lancre, and stood up. She had someone to talk to.

* * *

><p>In the middle of the town of Lancre stood the house of Nanny Ogg, who liked to be surrounded by noise and people. Seeing as these two often went hand in hand, she'd decided that she needed a house in town, which she got. The Ogg family was huge and having all of them staring at you through your window until you'd agree to give their matriarch one of the most expensive, luxurious houses was probably how this had been done, but nobody liked a critic.<p>

Currently Nanny was commanding her troops of pale-faced, nervous daughters-in-law. She had rather a lot of them, seeing as she had been married three times, was a mother of fifteen, and now had an ever-growing bunch of in-laws, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. The daughters-in-law were all plain, soft-voiced and every one of them was terrified that their picture would be moved to the cat's basket [Nanny owned a picture of everyone in the family. The way these were placed in the house was a way of keeping track of who were in or out of her favour. The cat's basket was a place of almost-banishment, near-hatred – and Greebo the cat slept there, which also was a reason to not want your picture in there.] after having failed to slave away at cleaning Nanny's house, cooking and the like.

The daughters-in-law stood in a line in front of Nanny, trembling slightly, while she marched past them, stopping occasionally to tap one of them on the shoulders, whisper something in their ear and then watched as they ran off to do as they were told. This was what most mothers-in-law considered to be fun and Nanny, people-person and overall very friendly to everyone, knew this to be one of her negative sides, but she didn't stop doing it or who would do the cooking and cleaning and stuff? Her? The _idea._

She'd just send off the last one when there was a series of knocks on the back door [Witches never use the front door. Well, they do, but there were only three possible times this would happen, and all three times they'd be carried. This was after they were born, if they ever married, and after they'd died.] and a loud voice was heard right through the door.

"_Gytha Ogg,_ you open this door right this minute!"

Nanny calmly walked over and opened it.

"Hello Esme," said Nanny Ogg amiably, having grown up with the other witch and used to Granny's ways. "D'you want anything? Tea, something stronger? I'll call one of the girls, if you like."

"No thank you," said Granny, stepping into Nanny's house, her pointed black witch's hat nearly touching the top of the doorpost.

[At this point it may be interesting to point out the importance of a good witch hat. It served as a way to tell everyone 'This head I'm sitting on is the head of a witch. Don't mess with her if you value yourself as you are.', it could be used to protect one's head from falling farmhouses, war hammers and such, and in the case of Nanny Ogg could hold a little bottle of liquor in the tip.]

Nanny shrugged, walked over to a chair and sat down. Granny didn't so much as follow her example, but did the same thing in her own way.

Nanny took off her own hat, took out a little bottle and poured a small drop into her own cup of tea, that had been standing on a table for a while already. She put the bottle back, placed the hat back on her head, took the cup in her hands and took a sip. Then she looked over at her fellow witch, who had pursed her lips a bit at seeing liquor used for non-medical purposes.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Esme?" Nanny asked. Granny told her. Nanny sat back in her chair, still nursing her cup of tea, and hummed. "Well… the Ramtops _have _always been one of the most magical places," she said. "O'course, when a new doorway opens, it's bound to open here first."

"I dint tell it to."

"No Esme. D'you reckon we should take a look at what's on the other side?"

Granny snorted. "We'd be basic'ly giving whatever's on the other side straight directions to Lancre. No, we should probably try and close the doorways. Or barricade them. Maybe we should bring a third witch for it. Are Magrat or Agnes available?"

Nanny hummed a bit again, finishing her cup of tea and then fished for the little bottle in her hat again to put in to her lips and take a healthy sip. She smacked her lips with a satisfied expression on her face [She was very lucky to only have one tooth, or most of her teeth would have fallen out right there and then. That's what Nanny's liquor usually did: it could be used to clean rust straight off metal.] and shook her head.

"Nah. Magrat's too busy queenin' and Agnes is busy learnin' how to witch."

"Oh well," said Granny, who didn't really agree with this kind of argument. In her mind, if Granny Weatherwax said she wanted your help, you'd better give it, with some extra effort thrown in as well. But she also knew that between the two of them, they held a lot of power and could probably manage to close a few measly doorways to unknown places as of yet. "Well. I reckons we could close 'em by ourselves."

"Course we can," agreed Nanny. They exchanged some information as to where the doorways, the weak spots, the… _cracks_, were, spoke about how they'd go about it, and agreed to meet up in a few hours. Granny tried for midnight, for the right amount of drama and such, but Nanny didn't want to on account of having some grandchildren sleeping over. Granny left to fetch her broom and Nanny stayed to shout a bit more at her daughters-in-law.

* * *

><p>Granny Weatherwax on a broom was a fearsome thing to behold. This was because she didn't have much truck with steering, or watching where she was flying, or very much beside yelling for things to get out of the way and curse when she crashed into trees and birds.<p>

And her broom required some running up and down before it would start, which wasn't very dignified to be seen doing. No one in the entire kingdom of Lancre would risk laughing at her, but it was very tiring to have to do a lot of running before being able to fly off.

This time she managed to get into the air after only twenty laps up and down in front of her cabin. For Granny, flying was a straight line from A to B, and this time was no different when she landed, at the end of her trip, in a tree. It was only a few feet up, so all she had to do was, while grumbling about trees that just _had_ to be put right into her path of flight, jump down and walk over to the first and, indeed, the biggest of the doorways, which they would use to close the others. Nanny hadn't arrived yet. Granny leaned her broom against a tree.

Granny spend the time she had to glare at a wolf, which slunk off in the other direction very quickly, to glare at a ripple in the sky that was apparently the doorway [which rippled a bit like water did if you dropped something in it when a butterfly flew past, being disturbingly careful not to touch it] and to see if she had brought her half needed for the spell. She had. It wasn't very much, and it wasn't very magical stuff, but it would do the job. Granny knew it was the intention that counted, not how much magic was in the eye of a newt.

There was a rattle of a cart and a cheerful yell.

"Coo-ee!"

Granny turned to see Nanny Ogg climbing down off a thing that couldn't be called a coach, and neither could it be called a cart because it was only a few hundred feet away from falling apart where it stood. It was lucky to have brought Nanny, her half of the stuff needed for the spell (including a big black cauldron), and her small grandchild this far – wait. Grandchild?

Granny stared at the little four-year-old boy named Pewsey that was lifted off the almost-ex-cart by his gran, shook her head exasperatedly, and marched up to the two of them just as the cart rumbled off again. [It would indeed fall apart about four-hundred feet away.]

"Why'd you bring the lad?" she said sharply.

Nanny shrugged. "His mam was a bit busy cleaning out the privy, and I couldn't see the harm in letting 'im tag along. He can see his gran at work, it'll be interesting for 'im!"

The boy in question stared up at Granny in the way of the very young who knew this was a woman who would probably not give him a sweetie. That's why he turned to his grandmother.

"Want sweetie," he ordered, in quite a deep voice for such a young child.

"Later, luv. C'mon, Esme, it will be fine. What could go wrong?"

[_Wrong _phrase to use, as it would soon turn out.]

"Fine," grumbled Granny. "But he's staying out of the way. Why dint you bring a length of rope to tie 'im to a tree?"

* * *

><p>With little Pewsey at a distance, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg set up the spell. Technically it was just a very big black cauldron with stuff in it, but Discworld magic could be fooled by a lot of things. If you were impressive enough about it, you could get away with it while the magic was still wondering how exactly you'd done that trick with its watch.<p>

Currently, however, they were having a bit of a problem. Or, to be more precise, a bit of an argument about a missing ingredient.

"No, Esme, I'm pretty sure you should have brought the flour," said Nanny, standing in front of Granny with her hands on her hips.

Granny narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "Gytha Ogg, I checked it myself. _You_ should have brought it. I ain't forgetful about things like that."

"No, you is never forgetful 'bout anything. I always says, Esme never forgets a thing."

"_Gytha._"

"Well, 's true. Sort of."

Granny stepped a bit closer. "If you'd have brought along the flour instead of that sticky grandchild of yours, we wouldn't have to go back for it. We was _this_ close from closing the doorways, if that _laddie_-" she pointed to where Pewsey had been standing. He wasn't there. She paused. She looked. Pewsey was innocently toddling over to where the ripple in the sky was. "_Gytha!_"

He was three feet away from it.

"You could have brought it along, easy as that, Esme," began Nanny reproachfully.

Two.

"No, Gytha, _look!_" snapped Granny. When Nanny didn't react quickly enough to Granny's liking, she hitched up her skirts with one hand, grabbed her hat with the other and started running.

One.

Granny was five feet away from him when…

Zero.

…Pewsey touched the ripple in the sky. It spread out like static on a TV screen, like an aura in the vision of a migraine patient, like the rippling of water after throwing in a giant boulder. It spread out, taking Pewsey with it…

Granny was two feet away from the doorway. She screeched to a halt, staring thin-lipped at where Pewsey had been, only a second ago.

"I tole you," she mumbled. She turned to yell at Nanny, who was quite a bit shocked at having her grandson disappear into thin air. "I _tole _you that boy'd be trouble! Next time you bring 'im along, you're taking some rope with you! We can't have that boy trapped in there. We'll have to go and fetch him. Come along, Gytha!"

Without further ado, she turned around again, took a deep breath, and strode into the once-more-rippling doorway. The ripple took Granny Weatherwax along with it, leaving Nanny standing there looking dumb-founded. Then she reached for a little piece of paper stuck in her hat, and a pencil.

With the tip of her tongue out of her mouth, she began to scribble on the piece of paper. To Nanny, spelling was optional.

This is what she wrote:

_Dear Jason and all but not at No. 61 until she takes back what she said about our Sharon,_

_Well we always new lil Pewsey was a coorious lad but this takes the sherry. Notte to worry, Granny Weatherwaxe an I will bring him back safe an sound. Untill then no one is to stop their choores and No. 34, I'm talkin to you. Tak care of Greebo for me._

_Love, MOM._

_PS: Granny sends her Love._

Nanny carefully folded the paper into a small square, walked up to a tree and wedged it behind a piece of bark with just a little tip of the paper showing. Then she fetched Granny's broom, laid it over her shoulder and stopped right in front of the doorway.

Balancing the broom between her shoulder blade and one of her arms, laid across it, she rubbed her hands gleefully together, letting out a delighted chuckle before making a standing jump into the rippling doorway, shouting, "Whoopie!"

The sky rippled. Nanny was gone. The wind blew over the hills. For about ten seconds, nothing happened. Then a grey tomcat with only one eye poked his head up amongst some thorn bushes. His name was Greebo, he was covered in scars and he had an air of maliciousness around him. He didn't know what to make of the rippling air that had made his, eh, 'mummy', disappear, but he felt that wherever Nanny went, interesting things were bound to happen. Greebo liked interesting things. He slunk out of the bushes without so much as getting his fur caught in the thorns and pawed over to the doorway. He considered it for a while. With a twitch of his tail he took a step forwards. He disappeared, leaving the Discworld with just a little bit less evil in it. For the moment, anyway.

To be continued.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Don't know why I ever stopped writing. It's so much fun and it gives you a bit of a power rush. Please tell me what you think!**

**Insert some sort of original goodbye,  
><strong>**Lisette**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Borders Are Open**

**A/N: Oh, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I'm a bit unsure if everyone is in character, though. I tried my best and I did a lot of research – and a lot of writing - every day. Hope you'll like it.**

**Chapter Three  
>The Witches of Lancre<br>EPISODE 1 PART 2**

On the other side of the doorway there was an empty hallway. The empty hallway was located in a place called Santoff Claussen, also known as the North Pole or simply as Santa's Workshop.

A ripple spread out in mid-air somewhere halfway up the corridor. Appearing out of nowhere, as something rising out of water, like Excalibur right out of the lake of Avalon only horizontally, came something that had, up to this moment, never been seen by anyone on this Earth before.

Out strode Granny Weatherwax, witch. Full name, Esmerelda Weatherwax. She came to a halt, feeling like she had just walked into a wall of blowing air. [Ever stepped into a closed-off, indoors tropical garden out of a rather cold climate? It felt a bit like that.] The feeling disappeared quickly, but it told her there was magic in this world. Only different from that of the Discworld, like you had to try harder to make it get off the couch and get to work.

* * *

><p>[Observe Granny as she turns on her heel slowly, taking in the hallway. She wears a plain black dress and a somewhat battered black cloak. No one sees it, but she's wearing three vests between that dress and her cloak. She has a tall, pointed black witches' hat on her head that is pinned to her iron-hard grey bun of hair with multiple hatpins. She is thin and approximately 5'9 (not counting the hat), but she seems much taller due to her self-confidence. She has a blue, penetrating gaze that could almost X-ray your mind. She can't be called beautiful, but she has all her own teeth, and her skin is clear of any imperfections such as warts or freckles [which she doesn't find a good quality in a witch]. She has a strong chin and a rather long nose and her hands are currently clenched into tight fists.<p>

She is the resident witch of the village of Bad Ass [named after a disobedient donkey, located in the kingdom of Lancre, which is located in the Ramtop Mountains, located on the Disc]. Witches are not social creatures and prefer to never be in the company of more than three witches in total if they can help it, and they don't have leaders. Granny is the most respected of the leaders that the witches don't have.

Personality-wise, she is proud, self-confident and overly assertive. She knows her own mind very well and she knows what is Right and Wrong. Knowing this, she feels she is born to be Good and Right. That doesn't mean she has to be nice about it; she's not soft on anyone, least of all herself.]

And now, back to the story.

* * *

><p>There was a noticeable lack of Pewsey in the hallway. Granny didn't hold with this, not at all. She concentrated and after a while she could hear a soft tingling of a bell, like someone was enthusiastically and continuously shaking it from a distance.<p>

This was as good a hint as any. Granny Weatherwax pulled herself together, glanced around for something so she'd be able to find her way back to the doorway, found it, and hurried towards the sound, following the corridor as it curved off slightly to the left, with various other corridors branching off it, leading to doors – but she didn't even look at those.

The sound came closer, could be heard loud and clear, stopped sometimes as if the bell-ringer needed a break once in a while – and then, suddenly, in one of the corridors branching off of the main one, there was Pewsey.

He was sitting on the ground and his attention was on something about a foot in height, covered in maroon cloth. The maroon cloth seemed to be made out of one piece, leading up to a tall pointy hat with a bell on the tip. The material had holes cut out for legs, arms, long pointy ears and a little face with bright, orange eyes.

Pewsey was enthusiastically shaking it and occasionally stopping to put his ear against the little man's chest to see if he would still hear bells. Then he'd giggle, and start all over again. ['It' being the elf that had thrown its trumpet on the ground and stormed out after Jack Frost rejected the orchestra, his new pointy shoes and his new position as a Guardian. The elf had spent a good fifteen minutes outside the door raging about it before it'd decided to cool off a bit in its room. On the way there, it had been grabbed by the little boy. The elf now wished it had walked the other way. Preferably far, far away from this little, runny-nosed horror.]

Granny stared. She didn't know what the little thing was that Pewsey was holding, but it didn't appear to be hurting him. Mind made up, Granny crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the ground impatiently, standing about seven feet away from the boy. "Having fun, my lad?" she said in tones as cold as ice. "Stop shakin' him so hard. If you don't, I will rip you up into little pieces wiv' me bare hands."

Pewsey looked up, pausing momentarily in his torture of the elf. He'd heard the threat, but he also instinctively knew that Granny would never harm a child. After some hesitation, he grinned at her.

"Funny Granny!" he said, his nose running a bit like it was always doing. He went back to shaking the little maroon-clothed thing, although he did so a lot more gently so as not to annoy the witch more than was necessary and carefully looking up at Granny between intervals to see if she'd take away his new toy.

She sighed a bit and went to pick him up. Before she could, she heard voices coming from the main corridor. They seemed to be coming from the opposite side Granny had come running from, and they were coming closer.

* * *

><p>Nicholas St. North and Jack Frost had been talking in North's office. Well, North had been explaining the concept of centers to Jack, and Jack had been feeling one thing after another: intimidated by North, confused about centers and at first, North's explanation, then dawning understanding and finally something sad and uncertain as he wondered what his own center was.<p>

Then they'd heard bells ringing, bells that shouldn't be heard from all the way over there, and frowning, North had gone to investigate while Jack tagged along. It was just the two of them now, walking along the corridor that curved off gently – the yetis and elves had been too busy either working or messing around.

* * *

><p>[Jack Frost, winter spirit. Messy hair the colour of snow, blue eyes the colour of a glacier, and quite a sharp face. He was about the same height as Granny (without the hat), maybe just a little taller, and almost sickly pale and thin. He wore a blue hoodie with frost creeping on the cloth and brown pants that were so tight they could almost be called leggings. He wore no shoes and carried a large staff with the appearance of a rune-like question mark without the dot beneath: a bit like a Shepard's staff. He was a rebel, mischievous, a diamond in the rough.<p>

Nicholas St. North AKA Santa Claus. He looked intimidating. He was tall, maybe seven feet. Muscular, a bit thick around the stomach perhaps, but what do you expect after eating so many cookies. A big white beard, intense blue eyes. He wore comfortable looking clothing in the comfort of his own home. Tattooed on his right arm was the word 'Naughty', on his left 'Nice' (with little square images of what each word meant in a person). Full of energy, of _life_, of joy. This man could find wonderful things in ordinary, everyday things. He possessed a bit of magic and used this to make his work even more wonderful.]

* * *

><p>Jack hurried alongside North. One footstep of North's crossed the same distance as three of Jack's. "What do you think it was?" he asked, not sounding out of breath at all, and carrying his staff over one of his shoulders. His voice was deeper than you'd expect from a boy that looked like a teenager.<p>

"I do not know," began North gruffly, in an accent that sounded Russian. "It could be that one of the elves has been caught with his hat between doors and is trying to get loose. Or is something else. Whatever case is, I am not taking risks." He strode onwards.

Jack smiled a bit, amused at the first comment. "Caught between doors? Does that happen often?"

"More often than you'd think. They are not very intelligent. Tingling is getting closer, Jack. Should be right around…"

Something moved.

Both of them startled and North grabbed for one of his swords while Jack fumbled his staff right over and off his shoulder and in both hands, pointing at…

A tall black shape that stood in one of the hallways connected to the main one. For North, there was a moment of anxiety as he, at first glance, mistook it for Pitch Black. Then he felt a rush of confusion and embarrassment as someone else entirely stepped out, holding up her hands in a clear sign of 'I come in peace'.

"Don't point sharp things at people, you could poke someone's eye out," the woman admonished North in a sharp tone, then put her hands down and turned her gaze on Jack. "Put that _down_, young man. I'm just an old woman an' no harm to anyone."

Both of them automatically obeyed her without a second thought, leaving them to wonder why immediately after. There was a short baffled silence, broken only by the soft tingling sound of Pewsey playing with the elf. Those noises were ignored for the moment, though.

"But, what, how," began North, stumbling over his words as he stared at the very obviously _adult woman that could see him and Jack Frost. _And who was standing in one of the corridors of Santoff Claussen, bold as brass, looking like she owned the place and who'd succeeded in making him feel like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar when she'd told him off. He shook off his confusion like a dog would do with water and pulled himself together. "Who are you and why are you here?" he said, sounding a lot more sure of himself now.

Jack only looked on in silence, now leaning on his staff while looking at the both of them.

* * *

><p>Granny Weatherwax tilted her head just a little bit to the left.<p>

Upon hearing the voices come to a stop right by the corridor she and Pewsey were in, she'd decided she'd need to step out and, if needed, protect the little boy with the lives of their assailants. [Protecting him with hers seemed silly. There was a risk she'd lose it. No, better protect him with the lives of attackers. That way they couldn't hurt the lad, either. Common sense, that was.] First, she needed to evaluate the situation: were the people coming closer actually a threat?

What she hadn't expected, were a man with a white beard, intense blue eyes and the words 'Naughty' and 'Nice' tattooed on respectively his right and left arm wielding a sword, or a young man with hair as white as snow with a staff that looked to be shaped like an angular question-mark on one end.

She decided she didn't have to answer any of their questions if she didn't want to. And she didn't.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," she told him haughtily, a little bit out of character of the harmless old lady she'd been planning on pretending to be for the occasion, but that couldn't be helped now. She added a lame: "Dearie me…" as a kind of afterthought.

* * *

><p>While North gaped at Granny for a bit and then started to argue with her, Jack happened to look past the woman draped in black and into the corridor. His eyes widened in surprise. A little boy of maybe four or five years old sat there, happily shaking an elf that was looking a bit green with nausea. Amused, he chuckled. North heard him, stopped arguing for a bit, looked back at him and saw where he was looking. Curious now, he took a step sideways so he could see around Granny, and peered into the hallway. His mouth fell open. He whirled back to Granny, looking quite intimidating and very furious.<p>

"Tell that boy to be letting him go! My elves are very fragile, he could break him!"

She wasn't impressed. To North's further astonishment, Granny's eyes hardened at the E-word and she started rattling off names like The Gentry, the Lords and Ladies, Them, The Fair Folk, The Shining Ones, The Star People, as she loudly wished for some iron to hit things with.

That was only the beginning of an argument that would shake up the Universe quite a bit.

* * *

><p>There was a second ripple in mid-air in the hallway. Nanny Ogg came jumping though the doorway and landed about a foot away from it. She was slightly disappointed that there wasn't anything more interesting than an empty hallway, but she took it all in stride – something was bound to come up any time now. This was, after all, another world.<p>

* * *

><p>[Granny has had a description, Nanny deserves one as well. Imagine slowly circling Nanny Ogg. Her full name is Gytha Ogg. She has had five husbands, three of which she has been married to. She has fifteen surviving children, one of them born some ten years after her last husband died. She has innumerable grandchildren and great-grandchildren.<p>

Personality-wise, she is the polar opposite of Granny Weatherwax: she gets along with people, can fit in anywhere. After having known her for five minutes, you'll feel like you've known her your entire life. While people go to Granny when they're desperate, when they really need help and don't much mind being glared at, insulted to their faces or yelled at anymore, they go to Nanny for advice and a good talk all the time. She enjoys life to the fullest: she smokes, she eats, she drinks, she sings, she dances on tables and loves being the centre of attention. She doesn't carry a handbag. All she needs she carries either in her hat or in the mysterious depths of her knickers. She enjoys dirty jokes and songs and will make use of them any way she can.

She will tease, argue and laugh with Granny Weatherwax, who is her oldest friend although Granny would never say it out loud; Nanny wouldn't let her forget it. In fact, they act as two people will when they have known each other for a very long time, know each other through and through, are annoyed by each other but are still very fond of the other.

She isn't tall and she's a bit dumpy. Her face looks wrinkly, like a raisin, and she has only one tooth. Her grin has been described as 'should have been locked up for the sake of public decency'. She wears a widely-fitting, comfortable looking greyish dress with an off-white kitchen apron over it and a witches' hat with the pointy tip drooping slightly due to the weight of a little bottle of liquor in it. She has light grey, curly hair.

Alright, that's enough. Back off a bit there, you'll get your toes stepped on when she starts moving. Back to the story.]

* * *

><p>Nanny Ogg saw no sign of Pewsey or Granny Weatherwax. However, she could hear some shouting coming from further along the corridor. Nanny smiled, baring her one tooth. When in doubt about the location of Granny Weatherwax, always follow the shouting.<p>

"There you are," she mumbled in a cheery tone, not at all worried about her grandson. Granny Weatherwax had followed him with the intention of bringing him back alive; he'd be fine. She adjusted Granny's broomstick on her shoulder and ambled off in the direction the shouting was coming from, humming the melody to A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End.

* * *

><p>Jack was being ignored while the two adults were arguing. This was a bit awkward, like watching your parents fight in front of you while all you could do was stand by, stare, and stay out of it or risk being ganged up on. He felt bored. His eyes slowly travelled back to the hallway where Pewsey was sitting with a trembling bottom lip, staring up at the 'toy' that had been stolen. [North had rescued the elf from the snotty little boy, but it didn't appear the elf was thinking along the same lines. He wasn't thinking much of anything at all, just "Bleeeergh!" because an absent-minded North was still holding him in one of his hands while gesturing.] Jack looked back to Granny and North; they were still trying to explain to one another what they thought about elves and the other's views and were either loud and insulting about it, or exasperated and confused. He experimentally started sidling sideways towards Pewsey – they still didn't notice anything. He strolled into the hallway, walking around the arguing couple and crouched down a few feet away from the boy, staff held upright next to him.<p>

"Hello little man," he said, not expecting a response. He had been planning to make a snowball for the little boy to play with, but what happened put that idea right out of his mind.

Pewsey looked right at him, wobbly lip gone in a matter of seconds. Jack froze. Could this mean…? The little lad just stared for a moment, obviously not sure what to make of the white-haired boy, but then he stuck a chubby fist into his mouth and mumbled a "Lo," around it.

Jack's eyes grew wide. "You can… you can see me," he whispered, in awe. "And hear me!" Then he looked back at Granny, as if realising something, and laughed softly, turning back to the little boy who was still staring at him. "Of course you can see me. Who is she to you, then, huh? Your grandmother? Inherited it from her?"

The little boy shook his head for the grandmother bit and then promptly decided Jack was a good replacement for the elf he'd lost to North. He scrambled to his feet, gaze focused on the winter spirit. Obviously he couldn't be shaken, and he didn't have a bell, but he could be climbed on, and poked and his hair could be pulled at, just like he always did with his older siblings and his Da at home.

* * *

><p>Nanny arrived, after a bit of walking, at the scene. A man approximately seven feet tall, with a white beard and holding a sword, sharp end pointing to the ground and waving about a little man in a maroon suit with the other while gesturing energetically, was standing in front of Granny Weatherwax, who had crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes had been narrowed to two slits of angry blue.<p>

They were shouting at each other at the top of their lungs, looking annoyed, as if they didn't understand each other's point of view at _all_, but also, just a little bit, it could also be Nanny's imagination, like they were enjoying mentally and verbally sparring with someone of this magnitude.

Nanny sniggered softly, deciding right there and then she'd let Esme have her fun for a bit.

Then, she heard a mumbled, "Ow." Immediately after came a quiet laugh, and Nanny ambled past Granny and North, who were too focused on each other to notice her, and peered into the hallway where the sound had come from.

Pewsey was clambering all over a white-haired young man, who was half sitting, half lying on the ground, a Shepard's staff lying next to him. The older boy grinned as if in enjoyment of Pewsey's treatment of him – probably because he _was _enjoying it. He hadn't been able to talk to people for three hundred years, and then to suddenly be the focus of this much attention was, well, _really nice. _When one chubby fist went to Jack's hair and a tiny pointer-finger to one of his eyes, the winter spirit gently grabbed the little boy's hands in his own, smiling at him.

"No, no, you're not fooling me with that trick again, Kiddo," he said, beaming. He had found a friend. He liked hanging around with children, maybe because they were about the same mental age as him. Of course, normally he'd make it snow for slightly older children, but fun was fun. He sat up, picking up Pewsey and putting him in his lap. He'd love to show this boy a bit of winter fun. Eyes sparkling, he reached for his staff –

"Cor, I've never seen Pewsey getting along so well wiv' people not related to 'im." Jack started, swivelling around. Next to him was an old lady with a face like a raisin, only one tooth and a warm smile. And a broomstick. She noticed Jack's deer-caught-in-headlights expression. "Oh, dearie, I didn't mean to scare you. My name is Nanny Ogg. Call me Nanny. Everyone does."

"Hello Nanny," said Jack, looking at her in astonishment. "My name's Jack. Jack Frost. Ehm. Kiddo's name is Pewsey?"

"Yep. Pewsey Ogg. My grandson, my Jason's youngest. You seem to be getting along well with him – he normally only does that poking game with his Da an' siblings. Not many people have managed that. Good job!"

Pewsey, who had been fidgeting and squirming to once again poke little fingers into the eyes of his new friend, finally noticed Nanny.

"Nana!" he said, feeling a bit happier than usual, but like the admittedly spoiled little boy he was, immediately linked Nanny's presence with, "Sweetie? Want sweetie!"

Nanny rummaged around in the secret compartments of her underwear, not really noticeably, but also not caring about anyone's opinion. She fished out a small bag of candies and held it in her hand.

"What do we say when Nan is about to give you a sweetie, my duck?" she asked Pewsey.

"Want!"

Nanny shrugged. "Almost right. Good enough for me," she said, and handed over one sweetie to her grandson, who stuffed it into his mouth.

Jack, who was still holding him, blinked a bit before he remembered North and Granny, who were still at it.

"Nanny," he began, a bit uncertainly. "Who is that woman?" Jack gestured at Granny with one hand, the other bend comfortably around the still chewing boy.

"That, my lad, is Granny Weatherwax. I love it when this happens; the whole 'I'm right, no, I'm right' thing they get going. It's very amusing, sort of thing. Also, Esme's able to get some frustration out of her system." Jack opened his mouth to make an enquiry, but Nanny was faster with the answer. "Esme's Granny, dearie. But you'd better call her Granny. It's her title, see. Let's watch the entertainment, hmm?"

The eternal teenager and the elderly witch sat down near the main corridor so they could see things from the front row. Pewsey was handed over to his grandmother to keep him quiet and calm.

"I think she just insulted him," commented Jack to Nanny. "I'm pretty sure that was an insult." He marvelled at Granny's courage – or stupidity. Insulting Santa Claus to his face was probably enough to get you on the Naughty list. For good. "Oooh, look at his face!"

Nanny looked.

North's face was very, very cross. And he said something he probably shouldn't have said.

Nanny sat ramrod straight, alarmed. "He just called her his good woman! He'll never get away with _that_, she's her own woman! I'm goin' in. Watch me grandson for me." She pushed Pewsey back into Jack's arms and scrambled to her feet. Then she ran inbetween Granny and North, took Granny's arm, and tugged her a little way away from the Guardian of Wonder while talking a mile a minute. "Gorsh, Esme, what a coincidence to see you here, we've found my Pewsey, isn't that nice, cor, have you seen that pretty wooden beam up there with the spirally things -"

Jack climbed to his feet and walked over to North, fetching his staff along the way, and still carrying the little boy in his arms.

North scratched his head a bit in confusion, both of them looking at the two women who were now whispering back and forth. Nanny seemed to have calmed her friend down a bit.

They stood in silence for a while.

Then Jack grinned cheekily at North. "Granny had you beat, huh?"

"Who is Granny?"

"Oh, just the woman who you've just argued with for over twenty minutes. Her friend is called Nanny." Jack lifted Pewsey a bit, beaming at the burly man. "This is Pewsey. Say hello, Pewsey!"

"Hallo," said the little boy, waving a chubby little hand at North, who shook his head a bit in disbelief and wonder.

* * *

><p>The doorway in the corridor spit out Greebo the cat, as if it was disgusted by his horrible smell. Which was very probable, actually.<p>

The one-eyed tomcat glared lazily back at the ripple in mid-air and then pawed off. He'd soon find a pack of elves to chase and herd into a corner, but he wouldn't actually manage to catch one.

* * *

><p>Nanny formally introduced Granny, her grandson and herself to North in a cheerful way while Granny stood with her arms crossed – now having her broomstick back - and Jack tried to get Pewsey to say and remember his name. ("Jack. C'mon, Kiddo, you can do it. Jaaaaack.")<p>

North put his thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his nose and proceeded to rub his eyes. "So, can you tell me," he said wearily, "Why you are here?"

Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg started talking at the same time, both saying something completely different. And while not completely a lie, it was clear that the two witches did not agree with each other on the nature of their visit.

"Just passin' through to get the lad back -"

"We're on a holiday. Seein' the sights -"

They stopped talking to stare at each other. Nanny backed down first. Looking smug, Granny turned to North once again.

"Just passing through. Not on holiday. Gytha gets confused. She's getting' on in her years. She'd forget her own head next, I expects," she said, almost cheerfully mocking Nanny. Nanny Ogg didn't seem to mind – she had gone to coo at her grandson with Jack.

"Will you be going now?" asked North. "You have boy. We can escort you to the door."

Nanny heard. Nanny liked. "Oh, escort! Esme, I've never been escorted," said Nanny hopefully. "I'd love to, lads! But we ain't going to the _door._"

"Where then?"

* * *

><p>Granny hadn't had the chance to protest. Nanny had dragged all of them along in no time flat.<p>

"This is one… of… my corridors," said North suspiciously. "Why are we here?"

"Cause, the reason being, the doorway's here," said Nanny. She had Pewsey in her arms once more and she was grinning like a pumpkin.

"Doorway." It was amazing how much disbelief could be stuffed into one word. "I don't see one. This is a hallway. Santoff Claussen is fantastic place, but there are no doorways in the middle of a hallway."

"Yes there is," said Granny smugly from off to the side, now standing quite close to the doorway. "Of course you can't see it. It's invisible. Well, until you get close to it." She took another step closer, to where she had appeared from, looking self-satisfied. A ripple in mid-air failed to appear. Her grin was wiped off her face. "Gytha. Gytha, get over here."

Nanny ambled over to stand next to Granny. They shared a look. Nanny tried waving a hand where the doorway had been. There was a distinctive lack of ripples in mid-air.

"You sure you have the right invisible doorway in an empty hallway?" Jack piped up cheekily. He thought this to be quite funny.

The two witches didn't.

"It's gone," said Granny. Jack and North looked on.

"Vanished into thin air," continued Nanny. "What are we goin' to do? How are we going to get back home? I left a note, but that only said we'd be back soon. The family will worry!"

"There's got to be a way to open it again," growled Granny. "Or maybe we could find another doorway. I could try an' sense it, Gytha." She remembered how it had felt back in Lancre. A sort of pull, but gently. Like a child pulling you along by the hand. Without further ado, she closed her eyes and send her mind searching – not exactly Borrowing, since that'd leave her body dormant and dead-like (as in having to be flat on the ground or a bed with a little card saying that you weren't dead or risk being buried alive), but drifting.

To the others, Granny was left closing her eyes and wobbling on her feet, back and forth, not responding to any questions or inquisitive pokes with Jack's staff.

Granny's mind searched the entirety of the fortress and found nothing. She wanted to explore further out, but having your mind wander too far without something protecting it could be dangerous. Granny returned to her own head.

And found Jack poking her in the forehead with his staff. She glared at him.

"_Stop that._" The tone promised a broomstick colliding with a certain winter spirit's head if he didn't listen to her.

Jack chuckled a bit, and to North's surprise, obeyed her with only one extra, cheeky tap to Granny's hat, which she largely ignored.

"So?" asked Nanny. "What'd you find?"

"What do you mean, 'find'?" questioned North, now starting to get curious instead of annoyed and confused. "She was just standing there."

"Nooo, she send her mind wanderin'. We're witches. That's what we do. One of the things we do, anyway."

This started another minor disagreement, then another round of questions, explanations about what was on the other side of the doorway, witches in general and things like that (mostly given by Nanny, since she was the one who everyone liked) and finally some understanding and a cautious sort of deal. North agreed to help them get started by showing them what Earth looked like and maybe dropping them off somewhere where they wouldn't immediately fall off a horribly high ice slope, and in return, Nanny would give him the receipt of one of her pies, which she had been telling Jack about and Jack had blabbed about it to North on the way to the now disappeared doorway.

[The receipt could be spelling a bit of trouble for North, especially if baked correctly. Nanny's baked goods were infamous for their, ah, helping hand in the consumer's love life. Or something else would come to pass – anything could happen to that receipt. It, being written right now on a grubby piece of paper by Nanny, was full of Nanny's kind of spelling, which was full of what other people called spelling mistakes. An elf could accidentally swallow it if it was left somewhere. Anything, really.]

_To be continued._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Look, I have stretched the movie! A matter of seconds in the movie is now a matter of… more time… about, oh, an hour to two hours, or it will be, I'm guessing, in my crossover. Stretching time. Sounds awesome, doesn't it? Please review and tell me what you think.**

**May the odds be ever in your favour and may they forever have your favourite ice-cream flavour.  
>Horrible little rhyme as a good-bye note, how's that?<br>Lisette**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Borders Are Open**

**Disclaimer: From this chapter there will be descriptions and quotes taken straight out of the movie Rise of the Guardians. Once again I'd like to point out that neither Discworld nor ROTG belong to me. All I own are about 30 copies of Discworld books and a ROTG DVD.**

**A/N: Everything I write in this story is for my own amusement – it's what I'd like to read in a Discworld/ROTG crossover. Aaand it makes me laugh. But, of course, reviews, readers, story alerts and so on are always nice. People telling you you're funny and that they can't wait for the next chapter… it's a rush that makes you grin all the time. Thank you for that.**

**Chapter Four  
>The Witches of Lancre<br>E****PISODE 1 PART 3**

On the way to the center of Santoff Claussen they found a few frightened elves being herded into a corner by an evil smelling cat.

The tomcat had been chasing after them for some time already, and he was a bit tired of this game. He made it clear to anyone who would listen with a loud, "Mrroooowwwww!", making the elves try to run through the wall, which they failed at horribly.

"Greebo!" said Nanny happily, running up to the snarling and hissing fur ball with Pewsey hanging off of one arm. She snatched the cat up with the other, nuzzling him under her chin. He hung limply in her grasp, his one eye glinting madly. To her, the one-eyed cat was still the tiny, fuzzy little kitten he had once been. To everyone else, he was a foul-tempered bully, covered in scar-tissue, smelling like a cesspit and owner of a very effective evil eye. Nanny, looking like she'd happily carry these two across several miles, cooed at Greebo until he started purring like a chainsaw, forgetting the elves completely. The elves fell over themselves to run away.

North pointed half-heartedly with a sword, obviously remembering Granny's stern slap on the fingers. "What is that?"

"It's a cat, North," said Nanny. "Mine, too. Must've followed his Mummy."

"That… cannot be a cat. Are you sure it's not a demon of some kind?"

"He's a big softie, really."

Jack sniggered at the last comment for a bit and then turned to Granny, because he'd just remembered something.

"Granny, how is it possible you can see us?" he asked. He still felt a bit strange calling a woman he'd just met 'Granny'.

"Well, you're in front of me, an' me eyes are workin'," was her deadpan answer.

"That's not what I meant," said Jack. "We're spirits, and to be seen… It's a matter of belief. You're from another world entirely – you don't believe in either of us, and yet you can see North and me."

Granny Weatherwax had a bit of a theory about that, but you didn't get respect as a witch by telling people your ideas were just that: theories. So she didn't. Instead, she said haughtily, as she strode on, "The Disc is mostly magical. When we went through the doorway, we must've picked up some and we now have our own private reserve of magic to go 'round. Magic makes things visible. 'S only logical."

They stepped out of a corridor onto a kind of platform, affixed to the walls of a giant, circular room. High above, there was a skylight. Poking up above the balustrade saving people from a horrible, plunging death, was the upper part of an enormous rotating globe. There were mysterious symbols and millions of little lights all over it.

The witches stared at it.

Beaming proudly at their amazement, North went to stand over by the balustrade, which was in front of his office, arms wide in a clear show of 'look at this, wonderful, isn't it?'.

"This," he stated, "is the Globe Room. The heart of Santoff Claussen. On the platforms above and below, the toys are being made. The Globe you are seeing is a way to keep track of believing souls and it is made to look like Earth. Made on scale, of course."

Granny, Jack and Nanny went to stand next to North. The two women stared a bit more.

Then Nanny, having laid Greebo over her shoulders like a four-legged scarf and now holding Pewsey close to her chest, looked over the balustrade at the Globe and said, "And the people at the bottom don't fall off? Cor! There must be a whole pulley system down there!"

Jack burst out into laughter. After a minute, it died down again, leaving them to look at the enormous room with a sense of calmness.

It didn't stay that way for long. There was the sound of big, running feet, and out of another hallway a giant rabbit and a little man made out of sand came running into view.

* * *

><p>[E. Aster Bunnymund, also known as the Easter Bunny or just Bunny. A pooka with grey and white fur, standing about 6 feet tall. Counting the ears, a little over 7. He appeared to have tribal markings on his fur and he had green eyes. He has quite a temper, carries boomerangs and can be quite gentle with children.<p>

Sanderson Mansnoozie, better known as The Sandman or Sandy for short. He was made of golden sand and seemed to shine a bit. His face was round with a round face, wide, smiling mouth and eyes set far apart. His hair was wild and swept out of his face, sticking upwards and looking like a star – the way a child would draw a star. He was a bit chubby.

He wore clothing that was jump-suit like in appearance and it seemed to be made of the same stuff as, well, all of him.

Caring, friendly and fiercely protective. He enjoys speed, can be quite calm and understanding, but is mute and can only communicate with images using his Dreamsand or hand gestures and body language. This tends to be a bit like a game of charades and can be quite annoying when you want to say something but they don't notice or don't understand you.]

* * *

><p>Standing upright, the overgrown rabbit spoke to North in an Australian accent, looking worried: "We have a problem, mate. Trouble at the Tooth Palace." Then he noticed Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg. "Who're you?"<p>

"If it continues at this rate, we're goin' to need name cards, Esme," said Nanny in a low voice.

* * *

><p>After a <em>really <em>quick introduction, the entire group followed North at a fast pace to a hangar (Jack trying to tell North he wasn't going with them the entire way). North had decided he couldn't leave his guests all alone in Santoff Claussen with just a few yetis to look after them, so he'd take the witches with him for a ride. He was thinking that he could drop them off somewhere after the matter at the Tooth Palace had been resolved.

He threw open the double doors to the hangar, everyone following him, and clapped his hands at the yetis already there getting the everything ready and said, "Boys! Ship shape, as soon as possible!"

At the same time, Jack started shouting through, following behind North, having to weave out of the way of yetis all the way. "North! I told you, there's no way I'm climbing into some rickety old -" He paused. "…Sleigh?" There was the sound of bells and then the doors on the other side of the room were opened. Then there was the sound of hooves, and snorting and then, through the opened door, came a full team of reindeer. Enormous, fierce-looking reindeer (one of them almost kicked Jack in the head passing by) pulling a sleigh that was certainly not old and rickety, but huge, shiny and red. As it came to a stop before the baffled group, the seats on the back of the sleigh folded out – suddenly, there were a lot more seats. North stood next to Jack with his arms crossed, sending him a smug look. Jack stood staring at it open-mouthed for a second before he said, "Okay, one ride, but that's it," and walked over to the sleigh, vaulting himself into it.

North laughed, stepping in himself. "Everyone loves the sleigh," he said. Sandy climbed in as well, followed by an enthusiastic Nanny. The two went to sit next to each other, Nanny setting Pewsey in her lap. Greebo stayed on her shoulder. Granny glared at the sleigh and when North tried to help her aboard, she pushed his hand aside and climbed in herself, settling down thin-lipped one seat away from Nanny so as to have some personal space to herself. Chuckling, North grabbed the reins in his hands and then noticed that someone hadn't climbed aboard. He looked aside. "Bunny! What are you waiting for?"

Bunnymund stood next to the sleigh, looking doubtful and unnerved. He rubbed his chin in a thoughtful way. "I think my tunnels might be faster, mate," he said, and tapped the sleigh with one big bunny-foot. "And… safer." Putting it down again and turning away, he started to edge away.

"Agh, get in!" said North, grabbing Bunny before he could make a run for it, and pulling him into the sleigh, dropping him into a seat right in front of Granny. "Buckle up!"

Sandy sat quite calmly, hands folded over his stomach. Nanny was babbling to him happily. Granny was tapping her foot impatiently. Jack stood there looking relaxed and like he was enjoying himself immensely. Bunny… did not, especially when he couldn't find any seatbelts to buckle up with.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, where are the bloody seatbelts?" he said, sounding panicky and aggravated.

"Ha!" shouted North, looking back gleefully. "That was just expression!" He turned ahead again, grabbing the reins once more. "Are we ready?" A yeti, fiddling with something on the sleigh at the front, frantically shook his head no, making mad, frantic gestures and garbling nonsense at him. North ignored this completely. "Let's go! Clear!" Everyone and everything who had been working on the sleigh, the reindeer, or anything else close to it, cleared out of the way as fast as they could, some of them even abandoning their work to leap to safety. North cracked the reins. "Hya!"

The sleigh shot forward. Everyone flew back into their seats. Bunny dug his claws into the edges of his, scared out of his mind. Jack, finding all this very exciting indeed, couldn't help but laugh (okay, he was also laughing a bit at Bunny).

The sleigh suddenly headed down a luge-like track, steep and fast, Bunny crying out all the way. Then there was light over the track, ice-stalactites hanging from the ceiling – the sleigh slid on.

North laughed loudly, and he pulled a lever. He turned a bit as the sleigh entered a corkscrew, and said, in a voice full of mischief, "I hope you like the loopty loops!"

As the sleigh flipped upside down, Bunny almost threw up and mumbled, "I hope you like carrots!"

The sleigh went on.

North, Jack, Sandy and Nanny were enjoying the ride like nothing else, all acting like it was a roller coaster (Sandy even lifted his arms to enjoy it even more). Bunny was terrified, Granny indifferent (but holding on to her hat and broomstick with a vice-like grip), Pewsey had hid his little face into Nanny's ample bosom and Greebo was hanging on very tightly indeed.

Suddenly, the sleigh shot out into daylight and onto a platform that was raised over a deep ravine – it rattled up the wooden beams of a ramp, reached the end of the track – and flew straight up, North laughing all the way.

"Klasno!" shouted North happily, as the sleigh turned sharply.

Nanny joined Sandy in holding up her arms, catching the wind with her fingers and crowing loudly.

"Esme!" she cried. "Esme, you've got to try this, it's _amazing!_"

Granny just glared and did nothing of the sort.

Meanwhile, Jack leapt up on the rear of the sleigh, looking down in awe at Santoff Claussen, surrounded by frozen waterfalls all around it and fading into the distance quickly – he laughed.

Below him, two seats in front of Granny, still clasping the edge of his seat and very nauseous, was Bunny. He groaned, making Jack look back and smirk mischievously.

"Hey Bunny," he said, making the pooka look at him. Jack nodded at the rear of the sleigh, standing up. "Check out this view!" he said, and then the wind caught him, blowing him right off and over the edge. Bunny gasped and clambered over, squeezing between Nanny and Granny, to carefully peek over the edge. Jack sat lounging on the sleigh's skit. He looked up lazily. "Aww," he said mockingly, "you do care."

Bunny scowled. "Oh, rack off you bloody show pony!" he growled.

Jack, smiling like crazy, made his way back into the sleigh, and Bunny made his way back to his seat.

"Hold on, everyone," shouted North. "I know a shortcut!" He threw up and caught something in his hand. It was round, shiny and looked like a snow globe.

"Oooh, strewth, I knew we should have taken the tunnels," Bunny whimpered.

North, glancing backwards momentarily, held up the snowball to his lips, and said, "I say… Tooth Palace," into it, and an image appeared into it before he threw it in front of the sleigh. A vortex opened. For a second, the same image appeared into it, before it disappeared and was replaced by a rainbow-y spiral, widening out. It sucked in the sleigh, as in hyper drive, and spit it out on the other side. In front of them were mountains, covered with trees. The tallest was right in front of them.

And… rapidly approaching the sleigh were black streaks that were flying through the air.

"What?" said North, sounding confused, and he narrowed his eyes. The next second they were in the midst of chaos, hundreds of the black streaks zooming past them at an impossible speed. North started zigzagging to avoid them immediately, shouting, "What are they?"

In the back, Sandy made an umbrella out of his Dreamsand big enough to cover himself and Nanny, mostly to also protect the little boy she was holding. Alright, Nanny too, Nanny was nice and likeable. Almost as soon as it had materialised, one of the black streaks slammed into it, disintegrating on impact.

Bunny dodged to the side as one flew past him and over Granny's hat, missing them both by inches.

Granny looked back in anger and astonishment, until she heard Nanny cry out, "Esme! Duck!"

She turned around again and saw another one of the things coming straight at her. Her eyes widened and instinct took over – she grabbed her broomstick in both hands – and swung it like a baseball bat (Bunny had to duck once more), hitting it and making it veer off course beautifully. She smiled smugly. That's what you got for messing with Granny Weatherwax.

"They're taking the Tooth Fairies," cried Jack from the right side of the sleigh, leaning over it with shocked (and observant) eyes.

And he was right. The black streaks, which on closer inspection looked like shadowy horses with black streaking out from behind them, were _gulping down _the tiny Tooth Fairies and you could see multiple Baby Teeth through the see-through stomachs of the shadow horses, making the things act like mobile prisons.

Jack, suddenly looking upwards and with a determined expression on his face, braced himself and flew upwards quicker than lightning, snatching one little Tooth Fairy away from right under the nose of yet another shadow horse.

Nanny, who hadn't expected this, was looking up in astonishment. "Gorsh," she said, sounding impressed. "And that without any use of a safety net, too."

"Seems to me he ain't using his head, neither," commented Granny, sounding a whole lot less impressed, as Jack landed back on the sleigh and whispered something to the little Baby Tooth he held in his hand. _But, _she thought, _he had saved one of them. That's something. Better than nothin'. _But she wouldn't tell him that, ohhh no.

North steered out of the meteor-storm of shadow horses (Sandy made his umbrella disappear) and into an opening in the tallest mountain: the entrance to the Tooth Palace. They came out in a huge chamber, supported by pillars containing thousands, millions, of tiny wooden deposit boxes from floor to ceiling.

One of the shadow horses flew past. North, who had spotted it, handed over the reins to Jack, who was standing next to him now. "Here, take over," he barked. Behind them, Bunny got an 'oh noooo' look on his face. Jack, though surprised, took over the reins, and North jumped up on the front of the sleigh, pulling out his swords as he did so. He aimed – and sliced right through the shadow horse. Several tooth boxes fell out of it and into the sleigh.

Bunny picked up one of the boxes, and then looked at Sandy. "They're stealing the teeth!" he said.

Sandy suddenly noticed something on his sleeves. Black sand, probably left behind from when the shadow horse had slammed into his umbrella. He rubbed it between his fingertips, then exchanged a look with Bunny.

Meanwhile, Jack's steering turned out to be… not so good, since they were heading for a pillar.

"Jack, look out!" shouted North.

Jack cried out a bit and pulled the reins sharply to the right – the sleigh just missed the pillar and, as they were close to a platform, hit it and skidded to a rough halt. Everyone fell back, shaken up by the landing.

Above them, Toothiana the Tooth Fairy flitted around in a panic.

* * *

><p>[Toothiana, also known as Tooth. The Tooth Fairy. Very colourful feathers (blue, green, yellow) all over her body, but leaving her hands and face bare – the skin there is pinkish. Feathers behind her flare out like a skirt, she's got a feathery crest on the top of her head. Purple eyes. She resembles a hummingbird in the way she flies – except her wings are more colourful and look like they are very fragile, a bit like butterfly wings.<p>

Her manner resembles a hummingbird as well: cheerful, a bit hyper, and very friendly. She enjoys white teeth and will forcefully pry open your mouth to look at them given half a chance. Bit obsessed with teeth, to be honest, but she's the Tooth Fairy. She's allowed.

She is the 'mother' of thousands of Baby Teeth who help her with her job.  
>Standing on the ground, she seems to be about 5'1.]<p>

* * *

><p>Everyone climbed to their feet and North shouted up at her, "Tooth! Are you alright?"<p>

The rest jumped or climbed out of the sleigh.

Tooth, still flying around, made a desperate noise. "They… they took my fairies," she said. "And the teeth. All of them!" North, Bunny and the Sandman jumped, climbed, or flew up to the platform above theirs to gather around Tooth, who sank down on her knees there, leaving Jack, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg on the platform below. "Everything is gone. Everything." Sandy put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Poor girl," muttered Nanny, coming to stand next to Granny, both of them staring upwards sadly. Her grandson was in her arms, a bit nauseous, but alright otherwise. Greebo was looking around with wild eyes, but he stayed near Nanny – he still sat on her shoulder, although his claws had dug themselves into Nanny's dress. Both of the witches were a bit surprised at such colourfulness and the being able to fly around, but they took it all in stride. A true witch can handle anything.

Baby Tooth, sitting on Jack's shoulder, flew up and towards her 'mother', who gasped in happiness and caught her in her hands.

"Oh, thank goodness… one of you is alright," she said softly, rubbing her thumb over Baby Tooth's head in a gentle caress.

"I have to say," a smooth, controlled voice with a British-sounding accent rang out from out of nowhere, startling Tooth. "This is very, very exciting. The Big Four. All in one place." The voice echoed across the chamber. Someone looked over the edge of the platform above the Guardians, hands clasped behind his back and a little self-satisfied smile on his face. They looked up at him, North having taken both his swords out. "I'm a little star struck."

* * *

><p>[Pitch Black, also known as the Boogeyman or the King of Nightmares. Tall and intimidating (perhaps North was just a bit taller than him, but it was difficult to see). Grey skin, black hair styled into spikes standing out from the back of his head. It seemed to be a haircut that needed a lot of hair gel. Very angular face: long chin, long, almost square-ish nose, no eyebrows, teeth like those of a predator. Wears a long black robe with a v-neck that goes to about halfway his chest. Besides the robe, it's black pants and black shoes all the way. Silver-golden eyes like an eclipse – or rather like the light seen around the edges of one. He seemed sophisticated, maybe even charming, but he'd stab you in the back as soon as he thought it was needed.]<p>

* * *

><p>"Did you like my show on the Globe, North?" Pitch said, glancing down at the Guardians smugly. "Got you all together… didn't I?" Pitch had a sense of drama the size of a small country and he wasn't afraid to show it.<p>

North let out a frustrated, "Argh!", now being made aware that they had been tricked. Pitch gave a little smile and a shrug, and started walking away.

"Pitch!" cried Tooth, sounding furious. "You have got thirty seconds to return my fairies!" She flew after him, and just as he disappeared from view behind a pillar, he also disappeared from that platform, so that when Tooth emerged from the other side, she'd lost him.

Pitch's voice rang out from further away. "Or?" He reappeared on another platform and held up his hands at chest height, cowering mockingly. "You'll stick a quarter under my pillow?" He dropped his hands again, now standing in a slightly relaxed, sideways manner. [If you gave him a guitar he'd probably look a bit like a rock star, especially with that v-neck of his. Just a thought.]

(In the background, Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax were having a whispered conversation. It went a bit like this.

"I don't approve of that v-neck at all," said Granny grimly. "Horribly low. And what's with his skin? Is he a zombie?"

"I don't know," said Nanny, staring upwards with a strange expression on her raisin-like face. "I think it looks fetchin' on him. He has pretty eyes, too."

Granny gave her friend a disgusted look.)

North pointed up at Pitch with one of his swords. "Why are you doing this?" he asked.

The Boogeyman lifted up his right hand, pointer finger extended upwards. "Maybe I want what you have," he said, pointing lightly at the Guardians, his hand dropping by his side right after. He scowled and his voice came out in a growl. "To be believed in!"

Jack's expression changed a bit as he took this in. Pitch's shadow moved along the walls.

"Maybe I'm tired," he said, and then reappeared from behind a column, looking angry and bitter. "of hiding under beds!"

(Nanny gave a sigh. "He can hide under my bed anytime he wants," she said dreamily, reaching up a hand to play with a curl that poked out from underneath her hat.

"Gytha Ogg, if you don't stop that nonsense I will give you such a ding around the ear!")

Bunnymund stepped forward. "Maybe that's where you belong," he said, and then startled as Pitch's voice came from beneath his feet in a frustrated 'ah!'.

He looked downwards, and found Pitch hanging upside down from beneath the platform Bunny was standing on, glaring lightly at him and saying, "Go suck an egg, rabbit!" before he once again disappeared, just in time to not be grabbed by Bunnymund, who had leaned right over and had a go. This upside-down thing gave Pitch the time to notice other things beside the Guardians. The first thing he noticed, was Jack.

"Hang on, is that… Jack Frost?" Pitch laughed as Jack cautiously turned in a half-circle with his staff extended. "Since when are you all so chummy?"

"We're not," Jack responded uncertainly.

"Oh, good." Pitch's voice unexpectedly came from behind Jack. He whirled around, pointing his staff at where Pitch was standing in a honey-comb like structure, leaning on one of the columns in a very bored-looking stance. "A neutral party. Then I'm going to ignore you." He removed his arms from the column and started strolling away. He smirked a bit, and then said, "But you must be used to that by now."

Jack had gotten another whack straight to the heart. First Bunny, now Pitch. Did they have to rub it in that so very few people could see him?

Talking about people that could see him… Pitch's shadow started to circle around the feet of Nanny, Pewsey, Greebo and Granny. Unconsciously, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg went to stand back to back, following the shadow with their eyes. Neither of the witches was scared, they just didn't like being circled like a certain large fish with big teeth and a fin at the top would do to something before it got eaten.

The King of Nightmares materialized in front of Granny Weatherwax, looking intrigued by her and her sense of fashion, which was admittedly a bit like his own. The top of Pitch's hair was almost level with the tip of Granny's hat. Nanny peeked out from behind Granny's shoulder in curiosity.

"And who," he began, smooth voice sounding charming once more, "are you?"

"Esmerelda Weatherwax," answered Granny promptly, lifting her chin proudly and narrowing her eyes in a cautionary way. "Call me Granny. 'S my title."

"No, I don't think so. Would be a bit strange, me calling you that."

"Mistress Weatherwax, then," said Granny, gritting her teeth in annoyance.

"None of that," said Pitch Black, smiling down at her. "My name is Pitch Black. The Boogeyman." He gave an extravagant bow, then took one step closer, still leaving about four feet between them. "Which side are you on, Esmerelda Weatherwax?"

"My own," was Granny's curt answer. She decided she didn't like this man at all. "Go bother someone else, Pitch Black."

Pitch held up his hands mockingly. "Alright, alright," he said, and then turned his attention to the face peeking out from behind Granny. It lit up like a pumpkin and promptly disappeared again. Nanny had a bit of a pathetic fangirl moment as she leaned against Granny's back (who poked her in the side until she stood on her own two feet again without the silly leaning), hugging her grandson in an attempt to stop herself from squealing out loud as Pitch materialized in front of _her_.

"Hullo, I'm Gytha Ogg. Nanny to friends, family an' everyone else…" she said breathlessly, and then blurted out something she had wanted to keep to herself. She didn't seem able to stop herself. "My word, you _do _have beautiful eyes, don't you?"

("Oh, _Gytha_," said the disgusted voice of Granny behind her, sounding like she wanted to facepalm a lot, then grab Nanny by the ear and drag her away to go yell at her for a bit. Jack accidentally dropped his staff and had to pick it up off the ground, just like his jaw, since his mouth had fallen open. Above them, the Guardians gagged.)

Pitch Black wasn't used to being complimented by dumpy old women with a face like a raisin that had turned red in the most impressive blush ever. He decided to ignore it for the moment. He smiled at her.

"And which side are _you _on?" he asked.

Nanny fiddled with her fingers. "Esme's," she said after a short pause, loyal to a fault. She _had _known Granny her whole life.

Pitch scowled a bit - and then noticed Pewsey staring at him.

His face fell like a line of dominoes, his eyes grew wide in baffled surprise.

"He can see me?" he whispered, sounding… horrified, intrigued, just a tiny bit vulnerable, malicious, dangerous, and downright _scary. _His expression was a sudden, predator-like snarl.

In an instant, he was a foot away from Nanny, hand stretched out and about to touch the boy she was holding.

The next instant was a whirlwind of activity.

Greebo, on Nanny's shoulder, tensed and hissed. Pewsey whimpered and hid his face in Nanny's chest. Nanny jerked back in alarm.

Jack immediately perked up and shouted an indignant, "Hey! Leave him alone!"

Granny levelled her broomstick with her shoulder, holding it just in front of the bristles and one hand extended in front of her with the thumb out, broom balancing there, aimed, and then jabbed Pitch in the stomach with the handle like it was a snooker cue. The Boogeyman stumbled back a step, not having expected that. He glared at Granny.

Bunnymund, now furious, gave a sharp and angry, "Pitch! You shadow sneaking rat-bag – come here!" as he jumped down off the platform and onto the one below, running straight at him – Pitch disappeared and reappeared onto another platform high above – and Tooth came flying over Bunny, actually _stole _one of his boomerangs and flew at Pitch in a rage. [All this violence… People never seem to just get along, do they?]

Pitch just stood there, smiling at her in a mysterious way, not even _trying _to escape. The reason why darted out of hiding – one of the shadow horses reared up in front of the King of Nightmares and came at Tooth threateningly. Tooth fell back in shock, one arm protectively in front of her face. Baby Tooth flew to hide behind Jack.

"Whoa, easy girl, easy," said Pitch soothingly to the horse, actually stroking it on the back until it went back to stand on four legs. He laughed, and drew a wisp of black sand from the shadow horse's mane. He turned towards Sandy and twirled it in his palm. "Look familiar, Sandman? Took me a while to perfect this little trick." Down below, Sandy scowled a bit and looked at his own hand, covered in his Dreamsand. "Turning dreams into Nightmares…" The capital letter N was very audible as he stroked the black horse on the side of its head – the Nightmare, as it was called, actually closed its eyes in bliss for a moment. The Boogeyman noticed the shocked looking Guardians (plus Tooth, who had flown back down), and smiled. "Don't be nervous. It only riles them up more. They smell fear, you know."

Well, that would be about as effective as telling people not to think about pink elephants, and maybe that was what Pitch had been aiming for.

"What fear? Of you?" said Bunny, pointing in a hostile way. Tooth held out the boomerang she had stolen in a discreet manner. He snatched it back and gestured with it. "No one's been afraid of _you _since the Dark Ages!"

"Oh, the Dark Ages," said Pitch, smiling in a nostalgic way. "Everyone frightened. Miserable. Such happy times for me. Oh, the power I wielded…" He snarled and then he sounded angry. "But then the Man in the Moon chose _you _to replace my fear with your wonder and light."

("Man in the Moon?" whispered Granny. "Why are they lettin' a big floating ball of shiny rock tell 'em what to do?"

"Shh," hissed Nanny, who wanted to hear the story.)

Pitch continued. "Lifting their hearts and giving them hope. Meanwhile everyone wrote me off as just a bad dream! 'Oh, there's nothing to be afraid of! There's no such thing as the Boogeyman!'." He leaned a bit towards the Guardians, eyes full of contempt. "But that's all about to change." He chuckled, as all around a sound like… millions of little bugs was heard. One of the columns behind Pitch began to crack, crumble and change colour to a dull grey – as if it was decaying. "Oh look, it's happening already…" Tooth gasped in realization. "Children are waking up and realising the Tooth Fairy never came. It's such a little thing… but to a child…"

Jack softly asked Tooth something, and she answered, "They… they don't believe in me anymore." The palace continued to crumble.

"Didn't they tell you, Jack?" said Pitch. "It's _great _being a Guardian. But there's a catch. If enough kids stop believing, everything your friends protect – wonder, hopes and dreams – it all goes away. And little by little, so do they."

("That's not how it works…" mumbled Granny. "All that exists without Gods, spirits, things like that… As for the belief taken from these four… There would be a big empty spot, but the belief would still be there. It would just… find something else to focus on. That's how it works on the Disc. That's _right, _that's what should happen. The world doesn't stop working just because there's some things missing. That would be s_tupid._"

"Esme, kindly _shut it._")

[In contrary to what the Guardians and Pitch believe, the only natural state for a human being is not happiness or fear, but a constant state of confusion. Maybe. Perhaps. Could be anything, really.]

Pitch continued his monologue. He certainly seemed to like the sound of his own voice. "No Christmas, no Easter, or little fairies that come in the night. There will be nothing but fear and darkness and _me. _It's your turn not to be believed in!"

Bunnymund threw both his boomerangs at Pitch, who ducked them. Then, as one swivelled around and came straight at him, Pitch jumped on the shadow horse, and both of them disappeared off the edge of the platform, diving downwards. The Guardians and Jack followed. Granny and Nanny ran to the edge to look down, but they couldn't see much of what happened.

"I don't hold with this," Granny grumbled. "There is absolutely nothin' to be happy about. This whole world is crazy."

"Well, Esme," said Nanny in a jovial way. "Seems to me I'm over my crush. Are you happy now?"

Granny glared.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Some things you can't resist doing. Am I right?**

**I don't really like saying goodbye. Good thing I'm typing this.  
>Lisette<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**The Borders Are Open**

**A/N: Thanks for the new story alert! Oh, and us Discworld fans know that three witches are a coven and two witches are an argument. So, of course, Nanny and Granny bickering time!**

**Chapter Five  
>The Witches of Lancre<br>EPISODE 1 PART 4  
><strong>

When the Guardians and Jack came back to pick up the four Discworldians, Nanny stepped up to Tooth. She tentatively touched her shoulder, caught Tooth's purple eyes. Greebo perked up at the sight of Tooth and Baby Tooth. He got a tap on the nose from Nanny for his troubles. He grumbled, but settled down.

"If you want some girl-to-girl talk, there's always me," Nanny told Tooth gently. "I wouldn't try it with Esme if I were you." Then she introduced her fellow travellers and herself, beaming away.

"Um. Did you just flirt with Pitch?" asked Tooth hesitantly. Baby Tooth, hovering next to her, made an impressive gagging sound and stuck her finger in her little throat, shuddering.

"Yeah," said Nanny calmly, shrugging lightly. She tilted her head thoughtfully. "I hope he gets over me."

"You disgustin' old baggage, Gytha Ogg," grumbled Granny. "You're over eighty, you gots fifteen children an' lots o' grandchildren and great-grandchildren – and aren't you still seeing that dwarf o' yours? Casanunda?"

"So what? It's not like we're married."

"You should be ashamed of yourself -"

The two witches started bickering back and forth, watched by a bemused Jack Frost and the Big Four.

North shook himself and stepped forward.

"Um, ladies," he began. They didn't react, just kept on bickering.

"And that was the shortest 'crush' of all time -"

[Actually, the shortest crush was when Marlene Kibble fell in love with Theodore Patty and then fell out of love a mere two seconds later, when he started picking his nose.]

"Ladies." Once again, nothing.

"He went and made Pewsey cry! That ain't a good base for a relationship -"

"_You _ain't a good base for a relationship -"

"Ha! Who had five husbands an' was actually married to three of them? Me! That's right! I'm the _best _base for a -"

"LADIES, PLEASE!" North barked. They turned. Granny glared, Nanny huffed a bit. "Thank you. We decided _we _will collect the teeth to keep up belief. We'd actually like to, ah, sort of, um…" He fidgeted a bit when Granny's glare got more impressive. Sandy hit him on the knees, urging him on. "Oomph. We'd like to ask you if you will help us? Little boy can, of course, have a bedroom in Santoff Claussen."

"No," said Granny firmly. Nanny pouted in disappointment. North sagged.

"No?"

"No," Granny repeated, standing tall and crossing her arms with the broomstick sticking out. "You do, o' course, realize that this is a completely unfamiliar world to us, we have absolutely no truck with worryin' about things so far from our door and we really should be gettin' the lad and ourselves back home. So, yes, no."

"Awww, but Esme -"

"I said no, Gytha. Don't make me say it again, you won't like it if I do."

"But…" tried North once more. Big mistake. Granny stepped closer, grabbed his beard and pulled at it until her nose was level with his. He looked at her with wide eyes. Bunny stepped forward warily.

"Hey now, lady, let him go -"

"_Stay out of it,_" Granny snarled at the Easter Bunny, who quickly backed off. Mouths fell open, eyes stared, Baby Tooth covered her eyes with her hands and Nanny shook her head with a small, fond smile. Then Granny turned back to North."Listen very closely, you big oaf. I. Said. No," she said in a slow and deliberate way, hard blue eyes staring into his.

"Of course, madam. I see your point, madam. Will you let go of my beard, madam?" said North in a very small voice for such a big man.

"_Mistress._"

"Mistress Weatherwax, will you _please _let go of my beard?"

She let go, leaving North trembling slightly in his giant boots.

The Guardians were disappointed (and a bit shocked, to be honest) at the result. So were Jack and Nanny, but some things couldn't be helped, and Granny Weatherwax was a stubborn (and scary) woman. North, thinking that a deal was a deal and even a promise made in his head was a promise (and he wanted to try and leave a better impression on Granny than he had until now, seeing as she was easy to make angry), said that he'd bring them somewhere they'd be able to start their search.

That somewhere turned out to be Burgess. Once again by sleigh, they landed in a slightly calmer neighbourhood. Granny climbed out immediately, staring around her and poking a lonely car with her broomstick. Nanny, however, enthusiastically shook Bunny's paw, babbled happily at Tooth, smiled a gummy smile at Sandy and then hugged him, shoved a grubby piece of paper into North's hand, grinned at him in a conspiratorial way, grabbed him in a hug too and then sidled up to Jack to mess up his hair and wrap him in her arms in a motherly hug. She let go, and waved Pewsey's sleeping hand (the boy had fallen asleep on the trip with a bit of help from the Sandman) at all of them as she climbed out of the sleigh.

"Bye now! Bye!" she cried, waving like a lunatic as they flew off.

They could only just hear Bunny say to the rest of the Guardians, "Of course they wouldn't help us, that horrible old Weatherwax."

"I heard that, Aster Bunnymund, you no-good over-grown rabbit!"

On the edge of hearing, they could hear Jack laughing and Bunny's baffled response, "Crikey, she's got the hearing of a bat!" They disappeared from view.

"That's them off, then," said Nanny. She rummaged around in her underwear, took out a long scarf and used it to make some kind of pouch to put her grandson in. He slept on, dead to the world. The boy could sleep through a storm, so they didn't have to worry too much about keeping silent. She turned to Granny. "Say, Esme, how many miles do you reckon you can search in one go?"

"Without any animals around? Three. With animals, maybe five."

"What? Earth is _huge. _That's going to take _centuries._"

"Don't be silly, Gytha. We'll be dead and gone in maybe thirty to fifty years, that horrible cat of yours, too. It's a million-to-one chance, but we might just find a doorway here. And if not, well… Pewsey will have to learn wizarding and maybe he'll be able to return to the Disc one day. But I don't hold wiv' dyin' in a foreign world, and I don't intend to, mark me words. Now. While searchin' for the doorway, we could always help 'em idiots a bit. Sort of findin' out how things work here. But secret-like, I've got to think of my reputation."

Nanny grinned. "You sneaky thing, you. You want to get involved, don't you?" she said slyly. "Don't deny it, I can see that sparkle in your eyes. I _thought _you was planning something. Oh, this is amazing. …Esme?"

"Yes, Gytha?"

"Do you have any coins to be gifts? I don't think the kiddies here want Ankh-Morporkian dollars."

* * *

><p>Turns out she didn't, but that wasn't much of a problem. The witches bump-started Granny's broom, taking turns to run up and down the empty road with it, and then flew up jerkily, Nanny looking for people, and Granny carefully poking around with her mind and being careful to never be longer than three minutes so as to be not unresponsive when they found people. Nanny had to hold on to a piece of Granny's cloak to keep her from falling off.<p>

After the sixth time, Granny returned to her own body to find it being poked by Nanny, who was cheerfully pointing downwards with the other hand, yelling something.

Granny looked down too, to find a building. It was a nightclub. Only one person stood outside it, leaning against the wall and singing drunkenly. The doors to the club were shut, and nobody was in front of the windows.

They landed clumsily, and Nanny Ogg ran out of the street Granny was left standing in to bump up against the man. "Sorry!" she yelled, and then ran back into the street – the man wasn't even aware of her - waving the man's wallet she'd pickpocketed in the air triumphantly.

"Gytha, you thief! I thought you'd go and ask him for some money!"

"It's only thieving if it's not an Ogg doing the stealing," said Nanny mildly, opening the wallet to nose through its contents. "I didn't want him to say no, either. Well, there's a whole lot of coins. What're those little signs on 'em? Oh, numbers. This ain't copper, that's for sure. And there's a few pieces of paper as well. One's saying… one… zero… zero."

"We can't do anything with a piece of paper, that's no money," said Granny, also peering at the wallet. "Coins are money, everyone knows that. We have about, what, thirty, fifty coins in there? That's something. Put the pieces of paper back into it and take the coins. You can throw the strange leathery baggie back at 'im."

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Terry Johnson woke up in front of the nightclub. His head hurt – not just from a hangover, but from a bump. Frowning, he felt around its edges and wondered how it had got there. It was strangely square-ish. Then he spotted his wallet on the ground next to him. In a panic, he picked it up and fiddled through it. Amazed, he noticed only his change had disappeared, which had been maybe eleven dollars in dimes and quarters, yet the in total one hundred and twenty dollar bills and the cards he also kept in his wallet, were still there.<p>

Puzzled, he rubbed his head.

* * *

><p>"Esme? How are we goin' to find the teeth? We can't just barge into every house we see and do a treasure hunt from the bottom to the top, can we? …Esme? Esme? ESME?"<p>

Nanny shook Granny, who was in front of her on the broomstick, by the shoulder. She didn't respond for over a minute, and Nanny took over the steering. Granny suddenly jerked.

"No. 7, second floor, second window on the right, first bed you see. No. 12, second floor, first an' second window on the left," she said, slurring a bit and sounding like she'd just woken up.

"Got it. …Did you just Borrow a house, or all the pillows?"

"All the pillows. I ain't going to do more than two houses at once, I already feel light an' fluffy…"

"Cor. As soon as we land, you're going to be havin' a nice little nap, Esme. Searchin' for the doorway and for teeth at the same time… you old softie, you…"

"I ain't anythin' of the sort, Gytha Ogg, you horrible ol' besom."

* * *

><p>Granny just sat down against a wall in an alleyway, wrapped her arms around herself and fell asleep with her hat over her eyes. She wasn't cold, even if it was a bit snowy outside – she had three vests on. Nanny left her there and ambled over to the first house to stare at the drainpipe, which didn't look very sturdy at all. Deciding that climbing drainpipes was for smaller and lighter people who usually didn't fall off the side of a wall with drainpipe and all, she went back to Granny to go and pick up the broom. With it in her hands, she considered her grandson and Greebo. The cat wouldn't want to stay behind with Granny – he knew bad news when he saw it and would go and hide in another room when Granny came to visit Nanny at home. He'd come with her. But Pewsey…<p>

He was asleep, and should she fall, he'd be hurt. If he woke up in a child's room and started wailing, he'd wake up the entire house. She glanced at Granny. Fast asleep, and her body heat should be enough to keep the boy from being cold. And nobody would dare bother Granny Weatherwax. Nodding, she removed the scarf and Pewsey from her person and carefully put him in the space between Granny's bent knees and her chest. Stepping back, she had to smile at the adorable picture the two made, but Granny'd kill her if she woke up to find the little sticky lad invading her personal space without her say-so. Better get to work quickly.

She ran up and down with the broom and then flew up towards the window. It turned out that Nanny would be a brilliant burglar. She managed to keep her balance on the broom and opened the window without too much trouble. She peeked into the room. Two beds, both occupied. A lot of toys and strange things Nanny had never seen before.

Knowing that she'd never get out again if she landed inside the room, Nanny carefully flew through the window and towards the first bed, like Granny had told her. Thankfully Nanny was a better flyer than Granny.

The taller witch would have bumped into everything on the way in, then she would accidentally have overturned a couple of things like the bookcase and the wardrobe, and finally she would have flattened one of the children in their beds by landing on them, cursing all the while.

Nanny flew to the first bed without hitting anything and managed to extract the tooth and insert the coin. Beaming, she flew out again, being careful to shut the window.

* * *

><p>The second house was a bit more difficult, since one of the windows was locked. She had to tip-toe from one room to another, being very quiet and careful not to trip over anything.<p>

After that, she went back to put Pewsey back into her scarf-pouch and carefully woke up Granny so they'd be able to continue.

Back on the broom, Granny asked if she'd missed anything.

"Oh, no," said Nanny innocently. "Nothing at all. Say, did you dream about pillows, Esme? You did, didn't you? I can tell. You're fluffin' up your hat."

* * *

><p>The next few hours were a bit of the same thing, although Granny stayed awake for longer and longer as she build up a magical resistance to Borrowing pillows and searching for magical doorways all at once. She stayed behind to watch Pewsey while Nanny went and exchanged teeth for coins and had a whole lot of fun while doing so.<p>

[Once she'd accidentally turned on a radio. Luckily nobody had woken up, but she'd thought the song that had started playing was really good and she'd liked it so much she'd started dancing on the broom, balancing on two feet, until she'd remembered Granny and flew out, laughing under her breath.]

Later that night they actually ran into the Guardians and Jack sometimes, when the five went tooth-finding in Burgess. Mostly Granny would hide the little bag of teeth they'd gathered and Nanny would wave and beam. This was when Nanny was steering the broomstick.

This happened when _Granny _was the one flying.

* * *

><p>Something zoomed over the sleigh, so fast and so close that everyone had to dive down onto the floor to avoid having their heads rammed off.<p>

There was a cry of "Sorryyyy! Esme's flyingggg!" as they peeked over the edge of the sleigh with wide eyes.

* * *

><p>Sandy was peacefully hovering over a rooftop, following behind the others, when something went by so fast that it spun him in circles on the spot in the air. He eventually came to a stop against a chimney, dizzy, nauseous and holding his head to stop it from spinning on and falling off.<p>

* * *

><p>There was the sound of whispering in the air.<p>

"Is Granny out there? Can you tell? Jack, if you're not careful she'll take your head clean off, come back here! We have to check first!"

"Old Weatherwax is trying to get us killed, I just know it, mates!" groaned Bunny.

"You couple of yellow-bellies," said Jack, from where he was peering out the window and smirking. "Granny's just horrible at steering. I think it's funny. They actually landed in a tree a while back. And did you see the way she knocked the kangaroo right off that rooftop and into a snowdrift? That was a thing of _beauty_. I'm actually very happy they didn't find a doorway home yet, I wouldn't have wanted to miss this for the world!"

"We can't just stay in here, cowering like mouse," said North. "We have to collect teeth. For Tooth."

"For Tooth," agreed Jack, who was already out of the window and on to the next house.

"For Tooth!" the rest of the male Guardians cried, climbing out of the window one by one with varying levels of enthusiasm and caution.

That left Tooth and Baby Tooth, who looked at each other. Baby Tooth shrugged. Tooth sighed.

"For me," she said, and flew out of the window, followed by Baby Tooth, only for something to miss Tooth by inches as it flew past. "_Holy molars, she almost got me! _Nanny! NANNY! Don't let Granny steer, do you hear me?!"

* * *

><p>Needless to say, Nanny took over the steering from Granny. Not without protest, of course, but Nanny could persuade Granny that it was better to <em>not <em>steer and have a literally wandering mind at the same time.

When they had landed for a bit of a break (Nanny had taken a few things out of the houses she'd broken into; food, a long piece of rope, and a big bottle of whiskey), Nanny took out the bag of teeth they'd collected over the hours and sneaked up to Sandy, who was just half-walking half-hovering out of a window on the first floor, to tap him on the shoulder.

"Hallo, Sandy!"

He turned and saw her. He lit up with a smile. An exclamation mark and then a happy smiley appeared above his head in golden sand. Then he frowned, excessively looked around, made an image of Granny and a broomstick appear above his head while shuddering and held up his hands in a questioning gesture.

Nanny laughed. "No, she won't fly again. I told her that flying a broomstick while being absent-minded – and I mean that literally – can be a little dangerous."

The Sandman held two of his fingers inches apart and send Nanny a doubting glance. Then he shrugged and held up one questioning finger.

"One question? Okay, go. Slowly, please."

Sandy nodded and made an image of Granny appear above his head. Then a close-up of her head. Next a magnifying glass examining an image of a round sphere, turning – Earth. Then a question mark.

"How she's able to search Earth? Bit by bit."

Sandy shook his head no and made a hopeful wave with his arms.

"I don't think Esme would want me to go telling all her secrets," said Nanny doubtfully.

The little golden man clasped his hands together in front of his chin and gave Nanny a pleading look. There was a giant number one above his head. With a tiny question mark next to it.

"Just one secret, huh? Well, okay. Esme's the most powerful witch on the Disc."

An exclamation mark, wide eyes and an open mouth.

"Yes, really. She's got a huge eggo too."

Question mark.

"She is good at what she does, she is proud, she knows it. She's also able, as the only one to ever have done so, to Borrow a swarm of bees." Foreseeing the question before it came, she continued. "Borrowing's hitchin' a ride in the mind of something – animal, things… as long as you don't actually steal the mind, you'll be alright. Oh – I's got a present for you!" She handed over the bag of teeth with a gummy grin.

Puzzled, Sandy took it and opened it. He looked inside. Then he looked up with a touched smile. Above his head a few images appeared, one after another, following each other a bit quicker than before. A tooth, an exclamation mark and a big, big smiley face. Then he frowned a bit and made an image of Granny appear, shaking her head and waving about her arms. Sandy made a question mark appear above his head.

"Oh, Esme's angry, self-assertive, and she don't like being told to what to do by anyone, but she's got a good heart. It helps when no one expects her to do anything. It was her idea, and she was the one who did the search for the teeth. I did the breaking into houses part – don't look so shocked, it was easy." Nanny nudged the Sandman with a grin. "Now, don't go telling anyone else. People'd think she's goin' soft."

Sandy smiled back and indicated himself with a wry grin – of course he wouldn't tell anyone else, he was mute. He made an image of Granny appear and one of himself, shaking her hand and then it kissed the image of Granny on the cheek in thanks.

Nanny laughed and said fondly, "Don't try that last bit on her. She'd probably stop you before you'd reach her cheek and then chase after you with her broomstick."

The Sandman shrugged and nodded, as if he'd guessed that, too. Then he glanced at Nanny with a scrutinizing look. He tapped his chin once, then seemed to make up his mind, floated upwards a bit and pecked Nanny gently on the cheek, then patted the still sleeping Pewsey on the head and floated down again, beaming away.

Nanny's eyes softened, and she smiled at Sandy. "Awww, it was nothing," she said, waving a hand. "Now, off you go. Oh, we've still got a bit of change left – here." She handed over a little bag of coins, saluted him cheerfully, and then watched as he followed North into a bedroom, where Jack and Tooth were. Nanny ambled off, smiling a soft smile. "Friendly fellow, that Sandy. I likes him." When she found Granny, the taller woman was sitting on a park bench, holding her broomstick over her lap and staring downwards in reflection. Nanny went and sat next to her.

They sat in silence, maybe for hours. They didn't know that they'd missed a boy meeting the Big Four in his room, or all of the Guardians but Sandy being accidentally knocked out by Dreamsand. Neither did they know about Jack and Sandy being lured out and onto a rooftop by two Nightmares, one of them being turned back into Dreamsand, and they didn't know about Pitch's ambush, the big fight that happened above Burgess, nor did they know about the death of the Sandman. All they saw were a lot of clouds that blocked an impressive black-and-blue fireworks show, Jack being brought to safety after having stood up to Pitch and actually blowing the Boogeyman right out of the sky and into the forest. The two witches weren't aware that the Guardians were so shocked by what happened, that they flew straight to Santoff Claussen with Jack and didn't remember the four off-worlders until the next morning, after they'd had a mourning ceremony, and they would be too busy preparing for Easter to do anything, thus giving Pitch a window of opportunity he couldn't refuse.

* * *

><p>The Sandman had been eliminated. But Pitch Black didn't only feel gleeful about that, oh no. Jack Frost had been able to blow him right out of the sky, showing that he wasn't only powerful. He wasn't all about rules, like the Guardians, and his place in this entire affair was still largely undecided – it could be changed. If he could just figure out how – but he would. The Boogeyman had a sharp mind and he knew exactly how to guide and goad to make people do exactly what he wanted them to do. If this man ever decided to play chess, he'd think fifteen moves ahead and make the opposition walk right into previously set-up traps all the time.<p>

Apart from Jack Frost, there were a few more interesting things happening. The two women had been a surprise, and the fact that the little boy was able to see him was a shock, especially after so many centuries without anyone believing in him. He found all three of the strangers intriguing – the cat was of no interest to him, even though it appeared to have a sort of dark aura hanging around it. When he'd had the time after the incident in the Tooth Palace, he'd tried to find out where the three of them had come from – when he'd first seen them, there had been some kind of interference when he'd normally so flawlessly picked up people's greatest fears. This was intriguing and alarming. He didn't want it to spread to other people, but he hadn't been able to find anything. This left another method. Questioning them would work, but there had to be a reason for them to answer the Boogeyman's questions. This he contemplated as he stood in the shadows, thirty feet away from the bench where the two women, the child and the cat were sitting. If you thought about it, it really wasn't that hard. Pitch Black stepped backwards further into the shadows, until only his grin, and then nothing remained as he vanished from the spot and went to prepare another trap.

* * *

><p>Pewsey woke up from a nightmare. Nanny comforted him as he cried, gently shushing him until the sniffles died away and the boy started squirming to be let down. Nanny started to untie the scarf.<p>

"Hold still. Hold still, my precious, you're tanglin' yourself right up," she said, as she fiddled. Pewsey didn't appear to be listening to her, and made a bigger mess of things until... "Bugger. Now _I'm_ stuck. Esme? Esme, a little help?"

"You're both horrible," said Granny, but she leaned over to untie the scarf from both Nanny and Pewsey, making Greebo lean backwards slightly, eyes focused on the intimidating witch. "There. Oi, no, don't put him - down…" Granny scowled as Pewsey, who had been put on the ground despite her protests, ran around, strangely energetic for this time of the night.

"Oh, Esme," said Nanny. She kept an eye on Pewsey as he tumbled to the ground, sat down where he'd fallen, and started patting the snow, forming it into a little mound. "He'll just play a bit until he'll be tired enough again. Can't hurt, can it?"

"This ain't Lancre, Gytha. Everything's unfamiliar here." Granny seemed to remember something. "And they've got a moon that's a _peeping tom,_" she snarled suddenly. Granny Weatherwax glared upwards at the moon and shook her fist at it. "I'm a respectable woman!" she shouted. "I'm onto you, you shiny rock! _An' no moonin' me, mister!_"

"Esme, I'm glad you're happy, but it's a moon, it can't help it -"

"Do you really expect me to take this lyin' down, Gytha? I demand to be respected! The nerve! The _nerve!_"

"Esme, calm down -"

"- our moon was never like that -"

"Esme?"

"- our moon minds its own business -"

"Esme, you're ranting."

"- as if people can't look after themselves -"

"You're not going to do an insane cackle, are you?"

"- suppressing people's potentials, that's what it is -"

This continued on for a moment, Granny ranting, alternatively louder and softer in volume, and Nanny trying to interrupt her. Nanny knew that Granny was independent and self-reliant and she was known for wanting people to fix their own problems instead of looking towards her for a magical solution – not that she didn't help if people really needed help, but for Granny, it was a horrible thing to force people towards something. Unless she was the one doing it, but then it was alright, because she left a lot up to the people she'd force. It was just a little push, mostly, and then she'd let go – then it was completely up to them to either completely ruin things or succeed.

Nanny also knew that she'd lost sight of Pewsey for a minute. She looked towards the snow mound where he had been playing – and didn't find him. She blinked, and searched their surroundings with her eyes, losing track of Granny's ranting. She eventually discovered Pewsey, hanging from the back of his vest, where it was being held between the teeth of a Nightmare. It was trotting off into the air, the little boy swaying gently.

Well, damn.

"Esme?" said Nanny, barely above a whisper, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"- an' I just don't hold wiv' it -" Nanny poked Granny in the side. "Oof. Yes, Gytha, what is it?"

"Esme, one of those shadow horses is carryin' off my grandson."

"_What?_"

* * *

><p>They ran after it, Granny holding the broomstick horizontally next to her until it got the idea and jerked her up and off the ground. She swung a leg over and forced it down until it was on jumping-on height, her feet inches from the ground.<p>

"Gytha, get on!"

Nanny hopped on side-saddle behind her and had to hang on to Granny's cloak very tightly to avoid being thrown off as Granny flew upwards and after the Nightmare at a dizzying speed.

The dark horse happened to look back and saw one enraged witch, and a witch going 'wheeee!' at the top of her lungs coming at it. Its eyes appeared to widen a bit in surprise, and it sped up, zooming over the rooftops. The two witches on the broomstick were right on its tail, and Greebo didn't seem to be liking the fast trip one bit as his nails once again pierced the shoulder of Nanny's dress.

The Nightmare zigzagged through some trees to try and slow down its pursuers, but since it was Granny doing the steering and she wasn't very concerned with a safe flight, they just flew straight through the branches and out, not slowing down. The dark horse was panicking slightly – the entirety of the herd was scattered all over Earth, giving nightmares to children, and it had no back-up. It was supposed to lead the two witches to the other side of Burgess, but as neither Pitch nor the Nightmare itself had expected them to be able to _fly on a broomstick, _and as fast as they were going, it had to go a bit faster than it was used to, making it tire out more quickly. And the expression on the face of the witch steering the broomstick was frightening the hell out of it. It knew they just wanted the boy, but it couldn't just dump the child in a dumpster somewhere – waiting for an opportunity to snatch the boy had been difficult enough without having to return later for its bait to find it being surrounded by two angry people who knew the boy would be threatened by a kidnapping horse made of black sand. It changed its course. It still had a few miles to go, but it was closer than the other side of town. Home.

It flew into the forest, the witches right behind it. The Nightmare tried to slow them down a couple more times, as it was slowly slowing down and they were starting to overtake it. It didn't help much. It spotted the rotted bedframe in the middle of a clearing and gave a final spurt – it darted down towards the ground, the boy's vest securely between its teeth, and slipped through the gap between the ground and the top of the bedframe, speeding into the pit beneath it.

Behind it, the broomstick with the witches and the cat aboard, crashed through the trees and into the clearing – but they were too close to the ground, hit it, and dug a groove into the mud as the broomstick was going too fast to stop in a hurry. They ended up coming to a halt half-buried, boots, hats and cat sticking out above the mud in a humorous manner. Greebo, shaking slightly, jumped off the mound of mud and raced off between the trees to go calm himself down a bit by terrorizing some local wildlife.

Granny sat up straight, mud falling from her as she reached up two arms and righted her hat with a, "_Right!_" Then she dug around next to her, fished out the broom, and used it to poke it into the mound of mud, searching for Nanny. She hit something.

There was a muffled, muddy sounding, "Ouch."

Granny dug her out, revealing Nanny's mud-covered face.

"There you are," Granny said. She struggled to get up, and then looked down at Nanny. "Stop lazing about, Gytha, come on!" She strode out of the mud with her broomstick held in her hand, shaking herself clean of it as she went to the bedframe and gave it a sharp kick to overturn it. It didn't move an inch. "Blast! Come on, Gytha, I'll need your help to move it!"

Nanny dragged herself out of the mud, then stumbled a bit as she looked around for her cat. "Greebo? Greebo!" she called.

"That cat will be fine, Gytha, I'll bet he'll come back later. He's probably just hungry. Now come help me!"

Nanny ambled over, flinging mud from herself as she went, grabbed the opposite side of the bedframe, and lifted it out of the way together with Granny. They knelt down by the pit, looking into it.

"That's a deep hole," said Nanny.

"That's a trap if I ever saw one," said Granny, peering down. "And an accident waiting to happen."

"We can't just walk away, Esme, that shadow horse took Pewsey down there! What are we going to do, leave him there?"

"No, that lad is under my protection," growled Granny, straightening up. "Can't very well return home and have to tell people I've lost him, now can I? People will laugh, only not very long, on account of being made to think they're frogs."

[Making people think they're frogs is much more effective and not as tiring as actually changing them into frogs.]

"How are we going to go down there? It's straight down, we can't fly."

"Ehhh, we could, but you're not going to like it. Hmm. Do you still have that rope you stole?"

Nanny brightened and dug around in her drawers, pulling out the long piece of rope – that was actually more of a wash line, but that couldn't be helped.

"I didn't steal it," she said, in a kind of afterthought. "I tooks it, but it's not -"

"Yes, yes, it's not stealing when it's an Ogg doing it. Hand it over," Granny said. Nanny did so, and Granny examined it. "Seems to be about right. It's a bit thin, but it'll hold us. Let's hope it's long enough, or we'll have to fly the last bit."

They fastened a metal pin (Nanny really did have a lot of things with her) into the ground near the pit, hooked the rope on to it, tested it, and threw the entire length of the rope right into the pit. Granny tied her broomstick sideways over her shoulder with Nanny's scarf, and grabbed onto the rope. She didn't hesitate, and swung herself into the pit to start climbing down. Nanny did so too, but did so a bit more slowly. It took a few minutes to climb down – there was no light, and they had to be careful not to slip.

It turned out that the rope _was_ long enough, as Granny reached the bottom. The end of the rope was just inches short of the ground, but that didn't matter much. She hopped off it and only then noticed she could see. It appeared they were in a sort of cave, stalagmites sticking up from the ground, stalactites hanging from the ceiling. There was a bit of light coming from somewhere. She turned towards it. It seemed like light at the end of a tunnel. She strode forwards. Behind her, Nanny reached the ground and then hurried after the taller witch.

Eventually they reached the end of the tunnel. They saw an enormous cavernous room, huge bird cages hanging from the ceiling, a bridge on the other side of the room. There were multiple staircases all over the room. There was a curious whisper in the air, like thousands of squeaks and chirps that had suddenly started up, but the witches didn't notice. Above one of the cages, a shadow darted, unnoticed.

Carefully, they looked down. A little platform, and a staircase leading along the wall, but it stopped about halfway. This room didn't seem made for humans, but rather for something that could disappear and appear somewhere else at will. Or, well, fly.

Gritting her teeth, Granny removed the broom from her back and kicked it. They didn't have room to run around on the little platform, and the broom would get the idea if it knew what was good for it. It did, after a few kicks. They flew over the empty spot between the platform and the bridge, and landed there.

"There must be an _amazing _echo in here," whispered Nanny, glancing around in awe. She sounded hopeful.

Granny almost tripped over her own feet to turn towards her and hiss, in a fierce whisper, "Gytha Ogg, don't you dare sing That Song! If you sing that song, I will take this broom, turn right back around and leave you here!"

"What song?" whispered Nanny, innocently.

"You know very well what song I mean. _That Song!_"

"Noooo, I really don't."

"The one – the one about that hedgehog, that can't be bothered by anything."

"Oooh, _that _song," said Nanny cheerfully, in a whisper. "Alright, I won't now, but only because you asked so nicely. Um. Why are we whispering?"

"Because this is a big, unfamiliar room, and we followed a shadow horse into it. That's why. Could belong to anyone, it could."

Nanny shrugged. "Oh, I've got a pretty good idea," she said mildly, and then shouted, "Coo-ee! Mr Boogeyman!" She had been right. There _was _a fantastic echo.

"Ow, Gytha! What did you go and do that for? And right in my ear, too!"

"Sorry, Esme, but I can't see Pewsey anywhere," said Nanny apologetically, turning to Granny. "I reckons he knows, since it was his horse that took my grandson, and this would be his cavern. But, er, you're not mad I alerted 'im to our presence?"

"Oh, we don't need to worry about _that,_" said Granny mockingly, finally removing her hands from her poor abused ears. "He already knows we're here."

"Cor, how do you know that?"

"'Cause he's standin' behind you."

* * *

><p>Pitch Black had been waiting in the shadows somewhere on the other side of Burgess, until he'd felt his lair's intruder alert. The shadows took him straight back to the cavern. Imagine his surprise when he noticed a) the Nightmare he'd send out to lure the two women with it, cowering on top of one of the suspended cages, with the little believer hanging from its teeth by his vest and b) the women he'd been waiting for on the other side of Burgess. In his domain. He supposed this could work, too – the manipulation of shadows worked better here, anyway.<p>

The dumpy one was calling for him. He grinned. Maybe he could scare them a bit… He stepped out of the shadows a few feet behind Nanny Ogg, and clasped his hands behind his back. Pitch waited until Granny's eyes met his over Nanny's head, and she notified the woman in front of her. Nanny turned around, Granny strode forwards so she could stand next to the smaller woman. Neither of them seemed frightened at all.

"Oh hello, dearie," said the dumpy one amiably. "Your shadow horse seems to have taken my grandson. We'd like him back now, please."

What was _wrong _with these two? Normal people would be freaking out by now, seeing as the shadows were moving in, but they didn't even seem to _notice._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Remember Nanny's radio scene? Just think of the most dirty song you can think of that's got a good rhythm. That's probably the song she heard on the radio.**

**I say bye, bye says I.  
><strong>**Lisette**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Borders Are Open**

**A/N: Chapter six. Have fun reading it. I know I had fun writing it.**

**Chapter Six  
><strong>**The Witches of Lancre  
>EPISODE 1 PART 5<br>**

Well. Pitch still had something over the two women, which was the little boy. He was, however, a bit puzzled over the fact that his Nightmare was obviously hiding on top of that cage and occasionally peering down at the taller witch, as if it was scared of her, which was ridiculous. Both of them seemed like harmless old ladies who were surprisingly covered in mud, but they didn't really seem to mind. He ignored the warning signs, and he smiled.

"You're not getting that boy back until I've had some answers," said Pitch Black calmly.

"Let me repeat what Gytha just said in a different way," said Granny Weatherwax in the same tone. "Givin' back the lad right now would be good for your health. Heard there was a nasty illness goin' around in these parts."

The Universe held its breath as the witch known in the tongue of the Trolls of the Ramtops as 'She Who Must Be Avoided', the woman with the blue, penetrating gaze, called 'Go Around The Other Side Of The Mountain' by the Ramtop Dwarves, stared straight and unblinking into the silver-golden eyes of the Boogeyman, the embodiment of fear.

Pitch snorted, scowled and said, "No there's not."

"There will be, count on it," said Granny. Next to her, Nanny was following the conversation like someone at a tennis match. "O' course, if you give us the lad back, we might be willin' to mix up a cure if you happens to catch it, since we're witches an' all."

The Boogeyman sneered at her, but he took note of the information she inadvertently had given him. "Are you threatening me? _Me? _I'm the Boogeyman!" His shadow rose up against the wall behind him, as if someone was playing with a flashlight.

"Threatening? Who's threatening?" said Granny. "I ain't threatening anyone, it's just some advice, all friendly-like. And stop that little trick with the shadows, it's not doing anything but tiring you out."

So they _had _noticed, but it didn't seem to be affecting them. Maybe it was time for another tactic.

"I suggest you answer my questions if you don't want the child harmed," said Pitch, turning a new leaf.

"I ain't answering any questions until I know where the lad is."

Judging by the way the woman had her arms folded, and her chin lifted high, and how she was almost looking down her nose at Pitch, even though he was quite a bit taller than her, she was being serious. Sighing, Pitch waved an arm at the Nightmare. "Come out where they can see you." The Nightmare shook its head with wide eyes and hid itself a bit more until only its eyes were visible to its master. "I _said -_"

"Out you come, or I'll come find you and I will stare at you. I have a broomstick, you know."

The Nightmare had seen the expression on the face of the tallest woman, and it had learned respect. Head low, the shadow horse stepped slowly into view, looking over the edge of a bird cage with frightened eyes, the boy's vest still between its teeth. Granny grinned.

Baffled, Pitch glanced from his Nightmare to Granny Weatherwax and back. Then he shook himself out of it and said, "There's the child. Now – where did you come fr-"

"No."

"I showed you the boy!" growled Pitch, now really getting frustrated. Mostly at being interrupted mid-sentence. "I can easily tell my Nightmare to _accidentally_ drop him!" Of course he didn't say anything about making the horse catch the boy again. The boy was, of course, the first child to see him in a long time and there was no reason to kill a believer right now… but they didn't know that.

"You can go and scare everyone, I don't care. It's your job, I ain't holdin' that against you. But if you harms that boy, you'll be in a lot of trouble, Pitch Black," said Granny, suddenly sounding stern and angry. "Don't threaten a child that's under my protection! It's a really bad idea." She hummed. It was a very annoying hum. You found yourself following it and trying to predict the melody – and then you'd be wrong and you'd feel awful, and that was exactly what Pitch was going through and it made him angrier.

"Then just _answer my questions!_" raged the King of Nightmares. It was a quiet rage, but still a rage. "Where did you come from? Why can the two of you, _adults, _see the Guardians, or for that matter me?" Above, the Nightmare let out a very soft neigh. He looked up at it. It had told him quite a lot with that one sound – that it hadn't expected the witches to follow it on a broomstick, and that the tall one had a very scary face and didn't care about a thing called safe flight, and that it _really _hadn't expected the two to follow it into Pitch's lair, oh, and had it mentioned the two could fly on a broomstick? Pitch picked out the one thing that surprised him the most. "They can fly on a broomstick?" He turned to the two witches and let out an incredulous, "You can fly on a broomstick!"

"Witches!" said Nanny cheerfully, but Granny Weatherwax's voice cut right through with its sharpness.

"I ain't goin' to answer any questions."

Pitch Black felt the need to pull a few hairs out in frustration, but he stopped himself. "_Why?_" he said, gritting his teeth.

Well, thought Granny, because this man had just kidnapped a child because he wanted some questions answered. This didn't seem a choice made by a sane, or very peace-loving, sort of man. If he knew about Lancre, would he leave it alone? …Probably not. Best to keep him in the dark as much as possible. No pun intended.

Instead of telling him this, Granny said, "I don't feel like it."

That made Pitch want to go bang his head into one of the Escher-esque stairs of the cavern a few times. The two… witches… were in his domain, they weren't scared, the dumpy one was annoyingly cheerful and the tall one pissed him off really badly. Maybe he was losing his touch. He should lure Jack Frost in here later and see if he could still play mind games – it could be it was just these two that were immune. Good grief, the horrid tall one was cleaning out her ear with her pinkie. In a lady-like manner, sure, but why, oh _why, _was she doing it?

"I thinks we're goin' in circles here," said Nanny suddenly. She'd perked up as soon as Granny started humming, and she was smiling like a pumpkin.

"Yes," said Granny. She had been leading the entire conversation in circles, Nanny didn't have to tell her that. "What about it?" She added a soft "Tch, tch, tch…" under her breath.

"We're not getting' any closer to getting Pewsey back, I can't help but notice," said Nanny, now beaming away.

"Exactly," agreed Pitch quickly, not noticing anything. "So if you'd just get things over with and tell me -"

Nanny waved a hand at Pitch, tutting loudly. "Dearie, us telling you things ain't witch-like, and it don't guarantee you giving back my grandson and you knows it," she said, showing considerable insight into the Boogeyman's nature. "We're havin' a bit of a stand-off here. You want answers, you ain't going to get them cos of us being witches an' knowledge being power. If you harms Pewsey, Esme's going to be very cross with you. If you don't give my grandson back very soon, Esme _and me _are going to be very cross with you. Now… Esme?"

"Yes, Gytha?" said Granny, now casually handing over her broom to Nanny, who took it with a grin.

"Why don't you go and do what you thought up, Esme?"

To those that don't know it, Granny Weatherwax is a pretty easy person to read once you know how. For Nanny, who has known her since they both were very young, this is a piece of cake. Nanny knows that as soon as Granny starts grinning, humming, cleaning out her ear and then goes 'tch, tch, tch' under her breath, that she is planning something and that it is time for the person it is aimed at to duck, get out of the way, run away or start saying 'yes ma'am' very, very quickly.

"Front and centre, you," said Granny to the Nightmare, gesturing grandly, looking smug when it instantly obeyed her, zooming off the bird cage and stopping well away from the tall woman, head bent low and trembling. She held out her hands expectantly. "I trust you won't do anything you'll regret. Toss him. Now."

Pitch, too gobsmacked to do anything, watched as his Nightmare swung its head to the side and back, and let go of the boy's vest, letting the little boy fly through the air into Granny's arms – Pitch's lips pursed in unbelievable anger and his shadow seemed to grow with it once more – Nanny and Granny exchanged their armful of cargo with a quick toss, Granny caught her broom and Nanny caught her grandson – and Granny's broom swung around and caught Pitch a firm whack to the temple, disorienting him enough for her to sweep his feet out from under him, making the Boogeyman fall and flail around for a couple of seconds as he determined which way was up, which way was down, and where that _horrid woman who had hit him was going!_

Pitch stumbled to his feet, but had to lean against a wall with one hand to keep his balance. Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg (holding Pewsey) had already jumped on the broom.

"_Up, _you lazy bunch of bristles!" shouted Granny. This time she had no time for running around until the elderly broomstick finally got the idea, and no time for kicking it either. When Granny got like this, there was no arguing with her. The broomstick knew this, and rose up – and they shot towards the opening of the tunnel and were through and dodging stalactites and stalagmites in less than a second, then disappeared straight up the pit.

Pitch shook himself, and glared at the Nightmare, which shrunk away from him. Now Granny Weatherwax had gone, it could be properly scared of the Boogeyman once more. Pitch Black took a deep breath to calm himself down, but that was worse for the Nightmare: a calm Pitch was a scary Pitch.

"_Well,_" he breathed. "That was certainly interesting." He turned to the Nightmare, not really aware that he was rubbing at his head, where Granny had hit him. The dark horse gave a nervous, questioning neigh, jerking its head lightly towards the tunnel exit of Pitch's lair. "Later," said Pitch, now looking at his hand to see if there was any blood – but no, just an insistent stingy feeling. He glanced at the Nightmare. "They were too fast for you. Following them will not help us much now. No, I want you to go see what the Guardians are doing. Warn the others first, there might be a job for them to do later." His arm shot out when the Nightmare was about to leap into the air, stopping it in its tracks. "We'll lure Frost away from the others – right now it could be a good idea to try and get him on our side. We'll use every opportunity presented to us. Go."

The Nightmare went, using one of the upper exits through the sewers.

This left Pitch to prepare himself. Razor sharp mind, calm, controlled voice and a breathy, scary laugh… and he'd have to get rid of this headache and the sharp sting on the shin.

* * *

><p>Something blurry shot out of the deep, dark pit in the clearing. It went up vertically, and then came down again, circling. It was maybe an hour before dawn. There was the sound of bickering in the air as the broom with the two old ladies and the boy came to a jumping-distance from the ground. As they flew, pieces of dried mud fell from both witches until there were only traces of dirt left.<p>

"Why'd you hit 'im, Esme? Not that he didn't deserve a good whack for kidnapping our Pewsey, but normally you'd just glare at someone until they'd get embarrassed and did everything you wanted them to -"

"Gytha, the man was so angry I was surprised not to see any steam comin' out of 'is ears! 'Sides, he didn't react to the glares I _did _direct at 'im," snapped Granny Weatherwax, as she and Nanny jumped off the broomstick. "It was like poking smoke with a stick, couldn't get through, and I reckon he had the same problem with the two of us. I had to do something, an' I had to do it quick." Automatically, Nanny Ogg went to get back her metal pin and the rope, as she so obviously was expected to do, while Granny kept talking. "I ain't about to go risking the lad's life if I can get us out with one hit to someone's head! Hurry up, you silly old baggage!"

Nanny Ogg turned when she had stuffed both items back into the depths of her knickers, and then she checked to see if her grandson was alright, which he was.

"I gots my stuff, and my grandson, but I don't see Greebo," Nanny said.

"Just leave 'im, that horrible cat -"

"I'm not leaving Greebo!"

"Yes you are, Gytha Ogg -"

As they argued, both women picked up rotted bedframe and put it back over the pit.

"I hope he hits his head on it," said Nanny, a tad uncharacteristically, but that could be expected if your grandson was kidnapped from right under your nose by an impudent shadow horse.

But Pitch hitting his head on the bedframe would be really unlikely, since he travelled through shadows. Still, the mental image was not unwelcome.

"Come _on, _Gytha! I ain't hanging around here to see if anything comes after us," said Granny impatiently.

The problem was that this world was only just meeting Granny and most of it didn't know they ought to respect witches if they knew what was good for them. Thankfully Granny Weatherwax had gotten used to meeting people who didn't know her when Nanny Ogg, Magrat and she herself travelled to Genua, where most people didn't even _know about witches. _She'd changed that pretty quickly, though.

Granny Weatherwax, smiling smugly at the memory, ran back and forth to get the broomstick started once more. A few minutes later both witches were in the air again, Nanny steering this time while Granny held Pewsey. Granny, while disliking children in general, could be counted on to temporarily hold onto one for a few hours at the most. As soon as they noticed nothing was coming after them, the ride was a lot calmer, and Nanny took the opportunity to search for her cat, managed to spot him underneath a tree and looking upwards at something to see if it was worth the bother of climbing the tree to try and catch it. Greebo didn't get the chance to do so, since Nanny snatched him up as she went by. She petted him with one hand while he once again retreated to her shoulder – he didn't like flying, and yet he was forced to endure.

Granny continued the search for another doorway, holding onto the lad as she did so, while Nanny flew around, very slowly as to give Granny's mind enough chance to find her way back. They continued to do so while the sun came up. With it, Pewsey became more active. Once, while Granny's mind was on one of her trips, the boy managed to balance his little feet on Granny's lap, and was very tempted to grab her face and peer into her nostril, but he didn't do so. He knew better.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, since it was a Sunday, people were sleeping in, they managed to freak out a parent that had been hiding eggs for the Egg Hunt and had therefore been up and about at such an early hour – right after those had been hidden, however, they were snatched away by Nightmares, like all the other eggs had been.<p>

The parent, a woman, had only been a mother for a year or so, and so didn't have the experience other people had had, which was trying to exchange a tooth for money, but it had already been done. And no amount of asking would reveal that the other parent had done it, so after a lot of confusion and other situations this left the only other explanation: every single spirit they told you about as a child was real. What? Why do you think no parent ever bought presents, or played for Tooth Fairy, or hid eggs for Easter on a massive scale in this Universe? They're on to them, that's why. But it takes time for a new parent to figure this out.

So, the woman had been heading home after hiding some eggs and _really _wasn't expecting a flying broomstick to go by a few feet above the ground at walking pace with two old ladies, a boy and a cat on board. Nanny Ogg waved at her cheerfully. The young woman's mouth fell open and she fell backwards into an impressive faint.

"Gytha!"

"What?" said Nanny. "She just keeled over. It's like she's never seen a broomstick fly before."

Granny snorted. "These people ain't used to _anything, _Gytha_. _In a village in the Ramptops they get fish storms about once every week, and most women from Lancre don't even think twice about havin' to beat a wolf to death with their own aprons if they has to, the few times it happens. We's used to strange things, 'cos of 'em happening all the time. This place is different. If you hadn't waved at her, she'd prob'ly written this off as a trick of the light without even blinking. People are good at foolin' themselves. With that point in mind, we should probably land and walk. We've been flying in daylight a bit too long…"

"And we've been awake for quite some time, too," added Nanny. "I'd like a nap. Think we can manage to walk into an inn and ask for a free room?"

* * *

><p>The witches had walked into a likely building, bold as brass, and Nanny had just started talking to the young woman behind the bar as if she'd known her for years. Little Pewsey had been shoved into the bewildered girl's arms, introduced to each other by Nanny the Friendly, and then Nanny had taken a seat on a bar stool and asked for a drink – and got it, for free.<p>

"Um. Why are you dressed like that, ma'am?" asked the bartender girl, struggling to hold the little boy, a glass and a beer bottle. She was still feeling overwhelmed by the overly friendly Nanny Ogg and since Granny Weatherwax had been looking on silently (secretly a bit impressed by Nanny's ability to have everyone like her), the girl hadn't noticed Granny yet, which was just as well.

"Costume party," answered Nanny, grinning and lying without so much as a blink. She took the bottle instead of the glass, winked at the scandalized girl and took a long drink straight from the bottle. "Now dearie, no need for such wide eyes. And please, call me Nanny. Everyone does." She noticed the girl's eyes dart around in search of some help so she could continue her work, and then Nanny saw the girl's eyes soften considerable when she looked at a young man some distance from the bar. _Ah. _Nanny leaned forward and tapped the girl on the arm, smiling like a pumpkin. The girl startled and turned to her, to see Nanny beckoning her closer with a finger. The girl shrugged and leaned close so Nanny could whisper in her ear. Granny Weatherwax watched as the girl's mouth dropped open after a few whispered words. The bar girl straightened up, stared at Nanny and let out an incredulous,

"_Really?_"

Nanny nodded cheerfully. She nudged the girl and winked at her once again, and then jerked a thumb over her shoulder at the lad.

"He's as good as yours if you does that," she said. "Some free advice from Nanny."

The girl handed Pewsey back and reached for her face with an ecstatic grin spread across it, carefully _not _squealing. Then she grabbed Nanny's hand and shook it enthusiastically.

"Oh, thank you, but I have to repay you!" she said. "Anything, anything at all! Well, as long as it's reasonable. Do you want another three bottles of beer?"

"Oh, that wouldn't go amiss, luv," said Nanny, who wasn't one to refuse free booze. "But, well, I'm a tired old woman an' me legs can barely hold me up… Not to mention my grandson or my dear friend Esme over there… What I'd really like, is some sort of temp'ry place to rest me ol' bones for a while… But I'm sure that's too much to ask."

"Oh, no! You're in luck, we've got three free rooms until tonight, I can give you the key of the smallest one -"

"Oh, dearie, that's really kind of you, but it was just some free advice from your Nanny so's you can get to know your young man."

"That – that's right, what about if I give you the key of the middle-sized room, it's got a TV. You can only stay there until nightfall, I'm afraid," said the girl, quickly dashing over to the bar and fishing out a key, handing it over to Nanny. She felt a bit strange, but she didn't mind doing this for the old lady who had been so friendly. That was the thing about Nanny: people never minded doing things for her, since she always made a point to do something for them first.

Nanny smiled at her. "Thank you, luv, I'm sure your young man and you will be very happy together."

"Your very handsome _still single_ young man, who is walking straight to another girl right now, so I'd hurry up if I were you," said Granny Weatherwax, interjecting unexpectedly and making the bartender girl jump, look back, and with a quick goodbye ("Just take three bottles, on the house. Room's on the second floor, first door on your right. Thank you. See ya!"), she almost ran to the young man and then dragging him after her to the kitchen.

"Free drinks!" crowed Nanny, already juggling the three bottles of beer (she'd downed the first), her grandson and her cat.

"That was almost cheating," said Granny. She had an expression on her face that looked like the perfect mix of disapproval and grudging admiration. "Then again, witches always cheat."

Nanny ambled, Granny marched, and Pewsey and Greebo were carried up to the room Nanny had been given for the day and Nanny Ogg, who had her hands full at the moment, gave the key to Granny Weatherwax. Granny unlocked the door, and it swung open.

It was a nice, cozy, but quite small room. If this was the medium room, the small room must be half the size of a cupboard. It contained a narrow double bed against the wall, a small, open wardrobe at the foot of the bed, a chair and a desk on the opposite side, a tiny bedside table with an even tinier TV on top of it, and a small cot. This was a room for practicality, not for much else. Granny Weatherwax didn't care, she never slept much, and they were only here for Nanny's need for a nap. Granny was handed Pewsey, while Nanny tested the bed with a few bouncing jumps.

"Bit soft," said Nanny Ogg. "But I don't particularly care right this minute. G'night – um, g'day." She removed her boots, simply rolled herself into the blankets and within seconds, started snoring gently. Greebo curled up on top of her and napped.

Granny glanced down. Pewsey stared up at her.

"What you lookin' at?" snapped Granny. "Your Nan decided to be nocturnal for t'day. She's good at it. You're just going to have to be bored for a few hours. I ain't entertaining you, laddie."

* * *

><p>It was hours later. There was a giggle, followed by a sharp hush. Nanny slowly opened her eyes and turned her head towards the sound. Granny Weatherwax was sitting cross-legged on the floor next to young Pewsey, who had managed to find a jigsaw puzzle and was trying to eat it. Granny kept grabbing the pieces from him as soon as he brought them to his mouth, then laid them down again in a manner obviously very attractive to a small four-year-old boy since he kept pawing at them. Granny didn't seem to enjoy the game much. Pewsey did, judging by the little giggle he'd let out a few seconds ago. Nanny thought it was an adorable sight to wake up to.<p>

"You can't eat it, you numbskull," grumbled Granny, oblivious to Nanny's awaking. "It isn't a sweet. It isn't food. No. No, don't – right, that's enough, Pewsey Ogg. You listen to me right now. This stuff, whatever it may be, is quite hard and shaped strangely. If you eats it, you'll choke on it and die. If you stuff it up your nose, it probably won't get out again. Are you bein' deliberately stupid?"

Granny Weatherwax wasn't really good with children. Babies were easy – you put milk in one end and kept the other end as clean as possible. Adults were even easier – they did the feeding and cleaning all by themselves. Children between the ages of three and thirteen were a mystery to Granny. You could tell them things, but they just kept asking questions. Sometimes the same one multiple times. The strange thing was that children, up to a certain age, mostly to their toddlerhood, weren't intimidated by Granny at all. They seemed to think she was funny and they would beam at her, like Pewsey was doing right now.

Nanny chuckled, making Granny's head swivel around like an owl's. Delighted at the opportunity presented to him, Pewsey's hand reached for another puzzle piece – Granny reached out without looking and snatched him up, holding him up in the air so all the boy could do was sort of run in mid-air.

"Hello Gytha," said Granny, sounding quite calm for someone who had just been harassed to their wits' end by a small child. "Sleep well?"

Nanny swung her legs over the edge of the bed, causing Greebo to slide down the blankets, and hunted for her boots. "Yes, Esme. Was Pewsey not being too difficult? Ah-haa." Triumphantly, she put on her boots. She grinned at Granny. "Not bored, were you?"

Granny sniffed. She stood up and handed the boy to his grandmother.

"It wasn't too bad," she said haughtily.

Of course she hadn't been bored. Pewsey hadn't been trying to eat a jigsaw puzzle the whole time. Granny had put him in the cot for a nap, but he wouldn't go to sleep until she leaned over him, stared him in the eye and told him, literally, "Sleep!" His eyes had just fallen shut, which was a really neat trick if you thought about it. Then she had gotten the chance to glare at a particularly gutsy (and probably lost, since it was the middle of the day at that moment) Nightmare that had been dawdling outside the window until it got so unnerved by the blue stare that it flew away with the air of an innocently whistling schoolboy with the hands in the pockets.

Granny Weatherwax picked up her broom.

"Come, Gytha," she said. "We'll continue searching."

"Gorsh, Esme, aren't you tired?" asked Nanny, as they left the room.

"I'll rest when I'm dead," said Granny grimly. They locked the door, and went downstairs to give the key back to the bartender, who seemed to be pretty cosy with her young man. Then they left the inn, noticed that it was dusk, and were just about to bump-start the broom, when…

"Oi! Weatherwax!" cried a voice with an Australian accent. Only one person in this world called Granny 'Weatherwax' or 'Old Weatherwax'. The witches looked up.

North's sleigh, with him and the other two Guardians aboard, came in for a landing that was a lot clumsier than normal, and Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg had to sidestep it to avoid being smeared out on the street. Then they jogged after it as it came to a halt, and Tooth came stumbling out.

"Nanny!"

Nanny Ogg found herself with an armful of Tooth Fairy, while still holding Pewsey and Greebo. Nanny, never one to refuse someone a comforting hug, patted her on the back, humming softly. She noticed the feathers that had come loose at only that light touch, and the way Tooth seemed to be leaning most of her weight on the older woman as if she could barely stand on her own two feet. Flying was clearly very difficult for her right now. When North actually fell out of the sleigh and immediately reached for his back as if he was in pain, Nanny Ogg met Granny Weatherwax's gaze over Tooth's feathery crest.

"Esme?" she said softly. Nanny Ogg may be the person always standing just behind Granny and smiling a lot, but in terms of friendliness, she was top dog.

"I know, I know," mumbled Granny. She marched forward, grabbed North by one of his arms and managed to heave him to his feet. How she did that would forever be shrouded in mystery. "Hush. Let Granny have a look at you. Gytha Ogg, you wipe that grin off your face right this minute."

"Sorry Esme," was Nanny Ogg's muffled reply, as Tooth was once more trying to suffocate Nanny by hug. A few feet away, Granny was performing her well-tried knee-in-the-small-of-the-back trick on North, who let out one cry of pain, and then a noise of pleased surprise. Nanny could hear Granny admonishing the burly man sternly and tell him to take climbing out of his sleigh a bit slower next time. Nanny could see Bunny's paw waving once or twice above the edge of the sleigh as if gesturing that he was going to come out, but in his own time. Nanny turned to the Tooth Fairy. "Tooth, dearie, I love hugs as much as the next person, but what's goin' on? Where are Jack and Sandy?"

Tooth's response was to sob once and let her forehead rest against Nanny's chest. This didn't help much with Nanny's confusion.

Behind them, the Easter Bunny finally clambered out. He looked scruffy, and tired, but he was still standing tall. When he passed Granny, he glared at her. She glared right back, absentmindedly letting North lean on her shoulder.

A whole conversation was held in that one glare. It said: 'I don't like you. I don't like you either. I like you even less.' Bunny's face crumpled first, adding a 'But that doesn't mean anything right now' to the mental conversation. He nodded to her. Granny Weatherwax nodded back.

"You're alright?" asked Bunnymund softly, eying both Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg.

"We're always alright," said Nanny soothingly, moving Tooth to her side and wrapping one arm around her so she could offer a bit of comfort and still have a very good view of everyone. And so she could hold onto Pewsey with the other arm and keep an eye on Greebo so he wouldn't try anything. "We happen to other people. Don't we, Esme?"

Granny nodded with a smug grin. Then she folded her arms and her face got serious. "What happened?" said Granny Weatherwax, lifting her chin with a commanding air, that was unfortunately made less impressive by North, who was still leaning on her shoulder.

Before Bunny could start explaining, there was a _poof _and the six-foot tall rabbit was gone. Well… maybe not completely.

"Aww, no. You've got to be kidding me," said a voice in an Australian accent, apparently coming from a bit more than five feet below Bunny's normal height.

Astonished, everyone looked down to see a very small version of the Easter Bunny sitting there, looking embarrassed. He was fluffy, and cute, and he still had tribal markings on his shoulders, forehead and paws.

North took this in sadly, Tooth gasped in shock, Nanny didn't respond much, but Granny…

"Oh no. No, no, no, I'm not talkin' to you like that," Granny snapped.

Bunny's small face scrunched up in dismay. He pointed a very small paw at the tall witch. "Now look here, you bloody -" he started saying, but he got interrupted by Granny, who waved an irritable hand.

"You're misunderstandin' me," said Granny Weatherwax, scowling and tapping her foot like a champion. "Jump up on the sleigh so we can talk face to face. This is just demeaning and it's going to give me a terrible crick in the neck havin' to look down all the time. Well? Go on!"

Bunnymund, who had been staring at Granny, hopped to the sleigh in record time, and jumped up on the railing, then turned back to face the others, touching his front paws together in an uncertain way. Then he, with occasional help from the other two Guardians, told the two witches what had happened. That Jack and Sandy had been ambushed by Pitch and his Nightmares, and Sandy had been killed by a Nightmare-sand arrow to the back, fired off by Pitch Black. How Jack had unexpectedly managed to knock the Nightmare King right out of the sky. The sad but beautiful ceremony for Sandy's passing back at the North Pole. How they had lost Easter, which meant a loss of hope, and how Jack was partly responsible for this. The steady decline of each of the Guardians' powers with every believer they lost. And finally, how they'd finally found the four Discworldians after looking for them for hours after Jack had run off to see if they were alright.

"In short, is miraculous you are unharmed," said North, patting Granny amiably on the shoulder. She glared at him, and he stopped doing it pretty quick, fidgeting with his hands once and then he looked upwards innocently.

A sound like a telephone came from the sleigh. It startled Bunny and Tooth, and it made Nanny look over curiously, but North seemed to know exactly what it was as he shuffled over to the front of the sleigh, leaving Granny's supporting shoulder to lean over the railing and fish around close to the front seat, muttering and throwing some things out of the way. The sound kept going all the while, and North finally found it.

"Aha!" he said triumphantly, as he held up something that looked a bit like a cross between one of his snow globes and a smartphone. Well, it was shiny and oval-shaped, and when he fiddled with it and pressed a button, all that could be seen on the screen was static. And all that could be heard was some garbled nonsense, but it seemed to make perfect sense to North, as he kept nodding, and humming in an acknowledging way. The next thing was a bit of a clue as well. "WHAT? One Last Light?" said North sharply. "And Pitch is going after the child?" This made the other two Guardians exchange a shocked look. "Tell me location. …Really? We are in town already. Thank you for warning us, Phil!" North pressed another button, and the screen went blank and there was no more sound coming from the communication device.

Bunny jumped into the sleigh – he only had one small jump to make, since he had still been sitting on the railing, and he disappeared from view inside the sleigh.

"Hurry up, the both of you!" his voice could be heard from within. Nanny helped Tooth to climb in and North, having regained his stubbornness, climbed in himself. ("Careful, you big oaf!" snapped Granny.) He turned towards Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax.

"Are you coming with us?" he asked, obviously not daring to hope, but still pausing before taking off into the air.

Nanny looked sideways at Granny. "Weeeeeeeell..." she started uncertainly. "I don't think Esme wants to -"

"Gytha Ogg, don't you tell me what I wants," snapped Granny Weatherwax, interrupting Nanny. "I can't be having with this at all. Get in there. We're going with them." Nanny's mouth fell open. Granny marched forward and North, who had a surprised expression on his face, held out a hand to help her up and in. She actually accepted the help and she gracefully stepped in. Then she turned. "Come on, Gytha! Don't just stand there with your mouth open, you'll catch flies!" She sat down haughtily.

Nanny's mouth snapped shut. And then it opened again in a wide grin. "Esme, you sneak!" she crowed cheerfully, as she ambled over to the sleigh quickly. "You're goin' in for a showdown, aren't you? You've always liked a good showdown." She clambered in and sat down next to Granny, still smiling widely. "Esme's got to have someone to beat," she told Tooth conversationally. "Otherwise she'll probably beat herself."

"Are you going to give all my secrets away, Gytha?" said Granny snidely.

"Sorry, Esme."

Granny Weatherwax nodded smugly when Nanny looked properly chastised, and then turned to North. "Well? What are we waiting for? Go!"

North blinked once, and then he scrambled for the reins. As he cracked the reins over the reindeer, Granny leaned over to Nanny.

"Us witches stand between the light and the dark, Gytha," she mumbled, keeping an eye on the Guardians to see if they noticed the conversation between the two witches. But no, the sleigh sped up, and the Guardians didn't turn around. "Always on the edge, watching and listening…and I've watched and listened and I don't like none of what I saw and heard. We'll stay on the side-lines until the right moment. There's more to this than what seems, Gytha." And Nanny nodded carefully in agreement.

It has been said that the Weatherwax women have always had one foot in the shadow. In the case of Granny Weatherwax it was more a case of Granny being halfway into the process of marching right into the spotlight in the middle of the metaphorical dark stage of every situation, problem or disaster that she poked her nose into. And Nanny Ogg was never far behind.

The sleigh took off into the air, heading towards the Last Light.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I had to make up a few things to make things right in my mind. Like North's communication device. I liked the idea and the movie didn't tell us how they knew the location of the Last Light. This could very well be a possibility, just like the thing with adults knowing the Guardians and everything else exists. One more thing: you may have noticed that I haven't written a lot for Pewsey and Greebo. Believe me when I say they've been up to all sorts of mischief, but writing all that down would increase my chapters with a lot of the same stuff all over, so I chose not to include most things. I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Bye,**

**Lisette**


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